It Never Ends (Alan Ashby Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

"And on the radio, they're coming on the satellite like they're gonna save us all."

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If there was ever a time I've hated myself more than anything else, it would be now. I look horrible. I haven't eaten in days, there are cuts and scars all over my legs and arms, and I look like I haven't slept in months. I smoothed my hair down, and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. I started the water, and undressed myself the rest of the way. I stepped into the steaming water, and winced at the stabbing pain all over my body.

"I can't believe he's fucking gone!" I whispered to myself. "He was here! He was just here!" I cried out, and slammed my hand against the tiled walls. My knuckles began to bleed, and I collapsed. I felt the tears running down my face, apart from the burning water, and just laid on the tile, whispering the same things over and over.

"He's not dead."

"I'm gonna see him tomorrow."

"This is my fucking fault."

When the water started to run cold, I hoisted myself up, and cut the shower off. I dried myself off, and threw on random clothes. I laid, lifelessly, on the couch until I heard a knock on the door. I let out a groan, and trudged to the door. I swung it open, and saw the smiling face of Austin Carlile. "Hey, sweetie!" He chirped. I wanted to smile at him, but I couldn't. I motioned for him to come inside, and I laid back down on the couch.

"Would anyone care if I was dead?" I asked, more myself than him, but he looked shocked anyway.

"Yes!" He screeched. "You know he wouldn't want you to be like this."

"But he was my best fucking friend, Austin!" I screamed, and another tear ran down my cheek. He sat down right next to me, and pulled me into a warm embrace.

"I understand, Bree, but you can't be caught on this."

"Austin Robert fucking Carlile. My best friend died four days ago, shut the fuck up!" I yelled, and he just looked back at me, calmly.

"Can I take you out with the guys tonight?" He changed the subject. I replied with a simple no. "You need to get out of here, and maybe eat!" After much more bickering, he came back from my room with black skinny jeans, and a t-shirt. I changed quickly. I didn't even care if he saw me in my bra and underwear.

We got out to his car, and I sat in the front seat, staring out the window. November 5, 2012. Four days after the horrible motorcycle accident happened, and my best friend died. I was there when he finally passed. Sitting in a chair beside the bed with Jolie, and Kenadee. Why did he have to do that? Why would he drink and ride? He loved all three of us, but something was off that night..

"The dead are living." Were the last words he ever said to me. The last words he put on twitter.

"We're here." Austin said, tearing me from my thoughts. I stayed silent, and followed him inside the house that was filled with alcohol, and drugs, and blaring music.

After a while, Austin and I went to separate places in the house. I went to the back yard, and laid on the ground, staring at the sky. I heard footsteps behind me, and someone stood over me.

"Whatcha doin'?" The unfamiliar voice asked. I just kept staring upward, ignoring them until a light was shined in my face.

"What the fuck, man?" I snapped, and covered my eyes.

"Oh, my gosh." He breathed. "You're Bree Lincoln!"

"How do you know my name?" I questioned.

"You were Mitch's best friend." I froze up when he said that. He immediately knew what he said when I did that. "I'm so sorry, Bree." He cooed. I just shook my head, and invited him to sit beside me.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Kellin." He replied.

"Cool." I said, almost robotically.

"Listen, I'm sorry about bringing him up." He apologized once again.

"You're fine." I said.

"I don't wanna be here. Wanna come with me and my friends to get food?" He asked. I nodded, and he stood up. He held out his hands, I took them, and he hoisted me up.

"I need to tell Austin I'm leaving or he'll scalp me." I said, and he followed me on my quest to find my companion. We found him eventually, and he agreed to me leaving with them as long as I'm home tonight. I nodded, he gave me his jacket, and Kellin took me to his friends. He introduced each one of them to me, and we headed to the car. They decided on some sports bar downtown, and I didn't really have an opinion either way, so that's where we went.

We found a booth near the back, and piled in. Each one of them ordered different drinks, and a ton of food. I just ordered a beer, and stared into space for a while.

"..Isn't that right, Bree?" I heard Kellin say.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You and Mitch were close?"

"Oh..yeah." I still can't get over the fact people keep saying were. I know he's dead, but is it so bad to just think I'll see him again tomorrow? "He was my best friend since we were freshmen."

"Yeah. He was a cool guy." Jesse replied.

"Can't believe he's gone." Justin said. I couldn't sit through this anymore. I got up, and ran to the bathroom. It's been four days, people. Give me a break! I miss the poor kid. I sat on the floor of the bathroom until Kellin rushed in.

"This is the girls' bathroom, dumbass." I said bitterly. He chuckled, and sat down beside me.

"I'm sorry, Bree." He put his arm around my shoulders. "I know how hard it is to let go of someone so important to you."

"Is it bad to think that when I wake up every morning, I'll have the usual 'good morning, hun' text?" I whispered.

"Not at all. You miss him. I know you do, probably more than his own wife does."

"You've got that right." I snapped. We all knew she was cheating on him, but he didn't listen. Not even to me. She's half the reason he was drinking that night. She was driving him insane. Lying, and shit. I really hate her. But I love Kenadee. She's like my own kid. If I could take her away from Jolie, I would in a heartbeat.

"It's alright to miss him, and I know it only happened a few days ago. I'm here for you, okay? Even after tonight." I hugged him tightly, and he kissed my forehead in a brotherly way.

"Thanks, but you just met me. Why are you being so nice to me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because, one, your best friend just died, and two, you don't seem like a bad person." He chuckled at the last part.

After a few more minutes, we went back to the table, and each of them apologized. I told them I overreacted, and the spent the rest of the night talking, and becoming a bit closer.

They drove me home at about 2:30, and I sent Austin a quick text telling him I was home, and went off to bed.