Newborn-A Vampire Academy FanFiction

Chapter 19

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry… Please, don’t cry.” He gently nudged me a step backward so he could close the door behind us.

“It’s my fault… It’s all my fault… I’m so sorry, Dimitri!” I sobbed into his chest.

“Roza… No, don’t… You’re not the one who should be apologizing—it should be me.” He stroked my hair gently.

I shook my head and wrapped my arms tighter around him. “No… It’s all my fault… I’m the one who got pregnant… I’m the one with a baby growing inside me!”

“No, Roza.” He pulled away slightly and I whimpered at the loss of the feeling of his body. “Roza… Roza, look at me,” he said, tilting my chin slowly upwards.

I looked straight into his eyes. They were so grief-stricken, so full of pain… It seemed like someone had painted his eyes grey because all the emotions shown through his eyes were so depressing. His baggy eyelids and faint dark circles under his eyes indicated his lack of rest and sleep.

“Look at me,” he said. “Roza, I want you to look into my eyes. I want you to see that I’m telling the truth.” He paused a few seconds, caressing my cheek with his thumb then continued, “I know it was wrong for me to leave the day you went to the hospital. I should have stayed by your side, and not run off like that. I regret leaving you to face everything and just running off. I want you to know, that I never meant to leave you alone, but I…”

I saw the struggle and pain in his eyes as he trailed off. It was as painful for him as it was for me, to listen to him. Yes, I was mad, yes, I was scared, but no, I couldn’t stay mad at him. I had forgiven him for leaving the second he came back. I actually hadn’t planned on forgiving him that soon, but it just happened—I couldn’t help it.

I whimpered and shook my head slightly. The waterfall-like tears on my face had slowed down. Now the tears just went down my face like a dripping faucet. “No…” I shook my head, “No, don’t blame yourself. It was never your fault. I mean—yes, I was scared at first when you ran off, but that was because I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” Dimitri opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off before he could say a word. “At first,” I added. “That was at first. But I’ve come to understand… And I hate myself for not understanding sooner. You left because you had your reasons… So I waited for you to come back.” I lowered my gaze and said in a smaller voice, “I admit I was depressed when you didn’t come back this week… I thought you’d had enough time already, and that you’d be back…” I lowered my head and let strands of my hair block my face. “I was also mad in the beginning, because you’d left. But I forgave you the second I saw you at the door.”

I bit my lip nervously, waiting for Dimitri’s response. I didn’t dare move, scared that all of this was just a dream and that it would shatter the moment I moved.

Dimitri tilted up my chin so that he could straight at me in the eye. He tucked the strands of hair behind my ear, leaving my face clear so he could see me more properly. And he leaned in and kissed me softly. It was gentle, and felt sweet and caring.

After the delicate kiss he pulled me into a hug and I cried into his chest, letting go all my emotions. I cried because I missed him, because I was scared, because I loved him, because I was angry, and because I was pregnant. I cried furiously, releasing all the emotions that had piled onto me during his absence.

I stopped crying a few minutes later when I had run out of tears. There was no doubt that my eyes were now swollen and red from all the crying. I pulled myself away from him but didn’t let go of his hand. Pulling him down to sit with me, I looked at Dimitri hesitantly.

“Can you lie down with me?” I asked.

Dimitri stroked my hair and nodded. “Of course, Roza. I’d do anything for you,” he said softly.