Don't Let Me Push You Away (Simon Minter Fanfic)

Chapter 3

Things picked up after that, the boys ate the food Simon got them and JJ asked me to sit behind the camera and watch them in action. Harry suggested I be in it, but I was the first declining, claiming I wanted to see how it was done. It wasn't a total lie, all of them seemed so comfortable talking to the camera, like it wasn't even there. I felt like I was almost interrupting them in their special moment. The way they interacted, they loved each other, they loved JJ. His smile was so genuine, I don't think I've ever seen him smile like that.

Even though a part of me felt sad, my best friend didn't need me as much as he used to, and it was time to stop denying that it wasn't my fault. But another part, a much bigger one, was elated to see that at least one of us figured it out. Figured out how to love themselves and allow other people to get close to them. Maybe I could learn from JJ, that could be me some day.

Suddenly I felt my eyes sting from the tears that formed without permission. Before anyone could see, I jumped up from my seat and headed down the hall, hoping to find the bathroom. It wasn't hard, seeing that the door was open. Quickly I shut it behind me and turned on the light. Even the bathroom was nice, strange how a couple of boys could keep it so neat. I ripped off a piece of toilet paper and pressed it to my eyes for the sake of my makeup running down my face. My small sobs almost sounded like laughter, I knew how ridiculous I was being. This was the first time in my whole life that I ever cried because I was happy. It was a weird feeling.

My eyes were still red when the tears stopped. I gave myself a long hard stare in the mirror, "get a hold of yourself, you lunatic." I whispered, mostly because it needed to be said by someone and no one else was around.

Just as I opened the door, someone went to knock, causing me to jump back in surprise. Grabbing at my chest to keep my heart from beating out.

"Sorry." Josh, I remembered from the beard, chuckled.

"That's okay," I rushed out.

He was quiet for a moment before taking in my appearance, surely noticing my puffy eyes. "You alright?"

For a moment I mulled over the question, figuring out my answer. The truth was, nothing had ever been more alright. "I'm just really happy to be here and meeting the people that kept JJ the way I left him." Or at least how he was when he left me.

"We're happy you're here too, you know? When JJ talked to us about it, there wasn't really a second thought about it. We might as well already know about you, for the past who knows how long, hes talked about you. This week was torture, couldn't get him to shut up, as if we ever could."

"Sounds like my JJ."

"Have to love him though, right?"

"I couldn't have said it better myself."

Josh and I shared a small smile that made me want to cry all over again. Now because of that fact that to them, I was just Kelsey, a girl they'd get to know. They've never heard of me and who I was back in school, and the things that happened to me. They'd never know if I had anything to do about it.

Without a second thought I wrapped my arms around Josh. Surprised at first, it took him a moment to reciprocate the action. Perhaps he knew as much I did how badly I needed to express my happiness.

"Okay, I'll let you not piss yourself now." I pulled back and watched Josh smile and shake his head at me. The boys could be heard probably throughout the whole house, all of them trying to talk at once. My smile grew even wider when I rounded the corner to see JJ laying on top of Vik and Simon.

Again they all looked when I entered the room, this time without any weird stare down. Tobi was the first to speak up, "there's no way you used to beat bear JJ in Fifa." The question was obviously directed toward me.