American humor

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Friends don't let friends take home ugly men

Beauty is only a light switch away.

If life is a waste of time,

and time is a waste of life,

then let's all get wasted together

and have the time of our lives.

Remember, it's not,

"How high are you?"

It's "Hi, how are you?" 

Fighting for peace is like

screwing for virginity. 

No matter how good she looks,

some other guy is sick and tired

of putting up with her shit.

At the feast of ego

everyone leaves hungry. 

It's hard to make a comeback

when you haven't been anywhere.

Make love, not war.

-Hell, do both – GET MARRIED!

If voting could really change things,

it would be illegal.

If pro is opposite of con,

then what is the opposite of progress?

Congress!

You're too good for him.

Sign over mirror in Women's restroom Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA. 

No wonder you always go home alone.

Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA 

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:

If it has tyres or testicles,

you're going to have trouble with it. 

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