1. Patrick: I'm mad.
Spongebob: What's the matter Patrick?
Patrick: I can't see my forehead.
2.Squidward: *playing clarinet really loud and obnoxious-like*
*Knock on door*
Doctor: I'm with the animal hospital down the street, and we have reason to believe you have a dying animal on the premises...
Squidward: *slams door*
3.Spongebob: Excuse me sir? You're sitting on my face.... which is also my body.
4. Spongebob: Hey Patrick.. I know something funnier than 24!
Patrick: Yeah???
Spongebob: ....25!
Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
5. Squidward: Spongebob, I really DO like you!
Spongebob: Squidward, I used your clarinet to clean my toilet.
6. Patrick: I'll tell you the story of the Ugly Barnacle. There once was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everybody died. The End.
7. Mr. Krabs: Attention all employees! Just giving you a heads-up. I'll be conducting a surprise uniform inspection in one hour. Whoever doesn't pass gets the boot.
[Pulls out a boot]
Mr. Krabs: This boot to be exact. It's very stinky, and you have to wear it all day.
8. Mr. Krabs: Come on, lad. Let's go give that Plankton a piece of our minds.
[SpongeBob literally rips out a piece of his head.]
SpongeBob: Think this piece will get the point across?
9. Squidward: [Answers phone.] Hello?
SpongeBob: Squidward!
Squidward: Is it time already for you to ruin my day?
SpongeBob: Squidward! Help me! My house is shrinking and I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller...oh no!
Squidward: Yep, it is.
[Patrick comes out from his rock.]
Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? [Falls off rock onto his furniture then jumps out with a tuxedo on.] Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me!
10. Squidward: Years ago, at this very restaurant, the hatch-slinging slasher used to be a frycook, just like you. Only clumsier! And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties, it happened...
SpongeBob: He forgot the secret sauce?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: He didn't wash his hands?
Squidward: No!
SpongeBob: Irregular portions?
Squidward: NO! He cut off his own hand! By mistake!
SpongeBob: You mean like this?
[At every 'this', SpongeBob removes his arm and a new one grows back.]
SpongeBob: Or like this? Or this? Or this? But what about this? Or this? Or this? Or this?
Squidward: Except he wasn't a sponge!
SpongeBob: So?
Squidward: So it didn't grow back!
