Damn you Autocorrect!

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Funniest Autocorrect Texts!! <3 I saw this on Ellen, love that segment!

Wife: Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to dead husband! Happy Birthday to you!

Husband: Thanks. I assume you meant “dear”.

Wife: Yes!!! I mean, that is a crazy autocorrect! Sorry babe.

Girl: Thank you again for an amazing first date

Boy: Any time. When’s the second date? I can’t wait to see those big beautiful nipples of yours.

Boy: Oh, NO! I’m so sorry I meant dimples, my phone changed it

Boy: I did not mean to write nipples!

Boy: I'm going to jump off a bridge now.

Gale: I’ll be black in a minute

John: Huh!?

Gabe: I meant BACK. Freaking autocorrect.

A: Can I get my pencil back? I have an exam in 30.

B: yeah. I’ll get it out of my lover.

A: Haha. You and Dan are into some kinky stuff.

B: *Locker. Love it!

A: Are you done painting Jason’s living room yet? What’s the color?

B: Just finished. It’s called period red.

A: Dude. No!

B: Sh*t! It’s called Persian red! I got autocorrected. Epic fail!

Boy: I miss you too

Girl: Don’t think I’m weird but I’m sleeping with that shit you left in the bathroom :)  It smells like you and it makes me feel better when you’re not here!

Boy: WHAT?! If you’re trying to be cute or funny it’s not working

Girl: Oh my God!!!! *SHIRT*

Mom: Are you hungry? There’s a huge surprise waiting for you in the kitchen. It’s your favorite.

Kid: Starving. I hope you shaved pussy. OMG!! I meant porkkk shaved pork. It was the worst autocorrect of my life.

Kid: I'm so sorry mom!

Kid: Mom?

Mom: Hope you're feeling better

Daughter: Thanks. I don't get dick very often. I predict it won't last long

Daughter: OMG

Daughter: SICK

Mom: Well maybe if you got more you wouldn't be sick.

Daughter: I don't know what to say...

Guy: Hey can you get pregnant before you come over?

Girl: What?

Guy: Oh My God! I meant to ask if you could get pringles at the grocery store.

Guy: Man I hate when people don't have control over their pussies. It seriously slobered all over me. I hate that smell :( And now I'm all sticky.

Girl: OMG

Guy: PUPPIES!

Guy: OMG Puppies!

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