Funny One liner jokes coming up! Check these out.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
2. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question and 'Yes' is the answer.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only know how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - Only who is left.
7. Knowledge is know that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Light travels faster that sound. This is why people appear bright until you hear them speak.
9. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
10. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
11. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
12. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean 1 enjoys it?
13. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from morning is research.
14. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation....
15. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
16. Never, under any circumstances, take sleeping pills and a laxatives on the same night.
17. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
18. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing.
19. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
20. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's in trouble.
21. Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.
22. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
23. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
24. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
25. Never get in a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.
26. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home even though you wish they were.
27. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
28. When in doubt, mumble.
29. Some cause happiness wherever they go. You cause happiness whenever you go.
30. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
