Blame it. (Kian Lawley fanfiction)

Birthdays suck.

"Happy birthday." I said softly as I laid my head on Kian's bare chest, the steady motion of it rising and falling brought me a source of peace.

"You remembered?" He question while wrapping his arms around me and bringing me closer to him.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, a hint of sadness in my voice. Why would he think I wouldn't remember? It's his 19th birthday. That's kinda special. To me anyways.

"I don't know. Everything's crazy with Ashlyn, and it's her first summer. I didn't think anyone remembered really." He said, not sad at all. Just honest.

"I remembered." I stated simply, placing a soft kiss on his chest.

"What times is it?"

I felt his head pop up and lay back down. "11." He said.

I shot up frantically.

"And Ashlyn hasn't cried yet?!" I panicked and jumped out of bed, dashing across the hall.

I leaned over the crib to see my little girl with a toy in hand and a toothless smile on her face.

"Is she okay?" Kian asked, bursting through the door.

"Just fine." I mumbled in astonishment.

He picked her up, being mindful to put his hand under her neck. He's so good with her, it's so heartwarming.

"It's daddy's birthday!" He smiled at her as he walked out.

I stood there dumbfounded. Why hadn't she cried when she woke up? How long had she been awake?

"You coming?" Ki Ki laughed at me as he watched me from the doorway.

"Oh, yeah." I giggled and followed him down the stairs.

He was shocked when he saw the birthday gifts sitting on the kitchen table and I couldn't help but smile as his eyes lit up.

"You can open them later tonight when were with everyone, okay?" I told him.

He gave me a small kiss and walked over to put Ashlyn in her swing.

I got out the sunny d and decided I would make the birthday boy his favorite breakfast, French toast with a side of fresh fruit.

I put the uncooked bread in the pan after coating it with the egg, milk and cinnamon mixture and started to cut up the fruit.

"Thank you baby." He whispered in my ear as he rested his hands along the waist band of my yoga pants.

"Anything for my birthday boy." I smiled, although he couldn't see it.

"Put her in her high chair, I want to try something." I told him and he did as asked. He slipped her into her high chair and wheeled it over to me.

I put a strawberry on the tray and squished it with a fork.

Her little hands picked up a piece and found their way to her mouth. She smacked on the strawberry before swallowing it and my heart filled with joy. She had eaten her first piece of real food.

I snapped a picture of kian kissing her cheek while she was screaming with happiness, holding a strawberry.

I put it on twitter and Instagram with the caption "proud mommy! :)"

I couldn't have expected my life to turn out better.

_________

I got Ashlyn dressed in a pink "I love my daddy" onesie and a little pony tail at the top of her head.

I put on a pair of dark denim high rise shorts and a white flowy crop top. I picked up Ashlyn and walked down stairs to see kian with his face buried into his phone. Oh that boy.

"Are you coming?" I joked, grabbing the keys.

"Of course babe." He smiled and placed a kiss on my cheek and one on Ashlyn's head.

I smiled to myself as Kian drummed on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. His head bobbed a little and the corners of his lips tugged into a smile.

We walked into The o2l house and it was filled with chatter by the large amount of people filling the rooms. His smile widened when people started cheering at the sight of him.

I quickly covered Ashlyn's ears as she began to cry from the sudden noise. Everyone gave me a look and rolled their eyes.

It's a sad realization that to the YouTube community I'll always be the poor little girl kian knocked up and Ashlyn will always be that anchor that keeps his career from really taking off. Tears prick my eyes but I blink them away. I'm not going to let my status among his friends affect his birthday.

Sam walked up to me and grabbed Ashlyn from my arms.

"I'm gonna make her a shirt that says I love Uncle Sam." He blurts, in reference to her onesie.

A laugh fell from my lips as he made faces at my daughter.

Sam was as good with Ash as could be. And he loved her so much. I love getting texts from him asking if Ashlyn can stay with him or saying that he misses her and I.

____

The party had only been going on for about an hour and Ashlyn was getting fussy. I could tell her ears were bothering her when it got loud because she would try to cover them or scream and then grab her ears and cry. My poor baby.

"Hey Kian, I need to take her home. Her ears are bothering her and she's getting sleepy." I said as I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Okay babe, I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too." I said before giving him a quick kiss.

I walked out to the car and buckled Ashlyn's car seat in before climbing into my seat.

The drive home was short but saddening. I hate that I had to leave, I want nothing more than to party with him on his birthday but I know I can't. I have to be a responsible parent.

God that's so weird saying. Parent. I'm 18, I'm supposed to be partying. Not worrying about taking care of a baby. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love him to bits and I love her more than I thought possible.

I gave Ashlyn a quick bath before feeding her and putting her to sleep. I went back downstairs and heated up some Chinese food from the other night.

I turned on the tv, sat cross legged on the couch and opened my phone. A frown covered my face when I saw Andreas tweet.

"@AndreaRusset: who brings a baby to a party"

I decided to tweet back.

"@AlexAnderson: @AndreaRusset A good mom and devoted girlfriend, that's who."

I laughed to myself and took a bite of my soggy egg roll.

"Not as good as when it's fresh." I mumbled to myself.

It was around 1 am and kian still wasn't home. I decided I'd go to bed and just leave kian a note.

I checked on Ashlyn and she was fast asleep. Smiling, I made my way to my room and turned out the light before slipping into bed.

The bed dipped down and I felt Kian's warm body press against mine, leaving me feeling secure and at ease knowing he got home safe.

"Thank you for everything." He mumbled into my hair before sliding an arm around me and holding me close to him.