We Are One

Chapter 18- Visiting Her Despair

Emma's POV

I look at the small piece of paper with the address 12 Conway Drive written on it. I hope into my old bug and turn the ignition.

"Love are you sure you don't want me to come?"

I nod my head slowly "I have to do this alone."

With that I leave Killian with a sad smile and start my drive.

As I drive I notice my hands start to shake up against the ruff leather of the steering wheel.

"Damn it Emma calm down" I scold myself as I pull up to my destination.

I sit in my car contemplating what I'm doing and how it might affect me. I've already been to hell and back could I do it again?

Shaking my nervous thoughts from my head I slowly get out of the car.

Walking there feels as if I'm walking through hell itself. Already feeling small tears threaten to spill.

When I reach it look down and my first sob comes out. I purse my lips trying to hold back more.

HERE LIES LEIA
BELOVED DAUGHTER

Around the grave is small bottles and ribbons to represent a baby girl.

I sit for a while numb not knowing how I could've missed this.

A small inscription catches my eye that's located on the back of the grave.

"My Little Angle"

I never got to hold you,
Or kiss your little head
Or watch you sleeping soundly,
All snuggled in your bed.

I can't count your tiny fingers,
Or your even smaller toes
I won't see your smile,
Or your cute little button nose.

You're gone too soon
Our hearts are filled with sorrow
When they should be full of joy.

I know you are in heaven,
Where there is no pain or tears.
You'll never get hurt or sick,
In heaven there are no fears

And though I'm sad you're not here right now
For us to hold today
I know we'll hold you in our arms
When we're in heaven with you someday

I trace my fingers through the small inscription thinking of what could've been, the life we could've had..

Her first steps

Her first word

First laugh

Everything that could've happened can't, and that destroys me.

Before I leave a place a flower next to her tombstone and kiss it "I'm so sorry Leia."

As I drive from the cemetery thinking about Leia and Killian.

'God I wanted a family so bad'

I pull into the driveway and wipe my stray tears.

I walk into our small apartment and see Killian cooking something. It's smells like.. Grilled cheese he really always did get me.