Captivated

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

I sit in my room shaking with emotions. I am so overwhelmed from earlier and don't know what to do about this whole situation. I can't help but feel responsible for taking that girl. It was my fault. Dane made sure of it. I mean, he could have done it without me. But he chose to include me. Has he ever done that before? Why is he making me do all of these things. First to Jo, now to Tori. Is this his plan? To make me feel guilty and responsible? Because it's working. I picture the girl sitting out there, handcuffed to a pole. I know she's out there. I also know that Jo's room hasn't been occupied in weeks. Is this what he did to us as well? Tortured us by making us sit out there for days, when in reality the rooms were available all along? I wonder how many girls he keeps at once. I think he prefers two.

I wonder if his plan is to make me kill her. Or maybe he'll make her kill me. Perhaps she'll become his new favourite. And I will just become an old used toy that he will lose interest in. But will Avery lose interest as well? She is really pretty.

Am I honestly feeling jealous right now? What is wrong with me?

I decide to sleep because I don't have many other options. I toss and turn for what feels like forever. My body is too jittery to sleep. But eventually, the sleep comes, and it soothes me.

___

I wake up, unsure as to how long I was asleep for, feeling tired and groggy. I hate that feeling. When you take a nap to feel better but you awaken feeling worse. It sort of defeats the purpose of having a nap. Shortly after I wake up, there's a knock on my door and Dane enters. He approaches the bed and perches himself at the edge. He smiles at me. It makes me feel sick.

"You did well today," he says. I don't answer him. "Hey," he reaches out and touches my leg. I yank it back in towards my body. "Don't be upset. You helped bring home another member of the family."
"What the fuck is wrong with you? How in any way, shape or form is this normal!?" I shout.
He stays calm and collected. He always does. God, he really is a sociopath. "You may not understand now, Reign. But you will one day. You really will."
"Is that what you think about Jo?" I ask. "That she was a part of the family?" He doesn't answer. "Then why did she have to die!?" I yell.
"That's just how life works sometimes."
"No. No it isn't. That's how your sick twisted games work."
"Like I said, I know you're upset –"
"I'm more than upset!"
"Yes, well, I hope you'll be welcoming to our new guest."
"What do you want me to do? Make her pinky promises? Braid her hair? Show her around the house?" He stares at me, clearly finding amusement in this, and smiles. I shake my head. "You're twisted."
"Would you like to come up for dinner tonight?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Are you bringing her  up?"
"No. I thought it could just be us tonight. She has some time to get used to things."
"Count me out." I say. "I'll be in here."
"Okay," he stands up. "I'll send some leftovers down with Avery." When he leaves, I feel like I can finally breathe again.

Dane comes to visit again the next morning. He brings me breakfast, then explains to me how he will be spending more time with Tori over the next few days, and hopes I don't feel neglected. I don't. I feel relieved. I just dread him being down here. I dread knowing that he's tormenting her. I dread the fact that Avery won't be able to come visit because he will be here. I hate this.

___

The days pass slower than ever before. The visits come few and far between and sometimes I hear her crying out there. It makes my heart ache. But after a couple of days, I become accustomed to it. I know that sounds horrible, but I can't help it. It becomes normal. Just like being here has become normal. I never thought there would be a day when I said that, but here I am, saying that this is my normal now. I think it's on the fourth day that she finally gets Jo's bedroom. Dane tells me after he's moved her in. I don't know why he keeps the girls tied to the pole out there for the first couple of days. Maybe it's some sort of weird initiation. Either way, it's fucked up. He's fucked up. I'm just glad she has a bed to sleep on. Now we are equals.

I think its Monday when Avery finally visits. Regardless of how often he comes, it always feels like an eternity that I'm waiting. I anticipate his arrival so badly; it's the only bit of relief and joy that I truly look forward to. Does that make me sound desperate? God, I hope not. But there's nothing else for me to look forward to, and it's so lonely in here. I hate Dane. With a burning passion deep inside, that ignites every time that he speaks. And Avery is just a breath of fresh air. He is my only hope of getting out of here. I have to remind myself of that every so often. I wouldn't consider it using him. It's just... he's here, and it would be convenient if one day we could leave together. I'm past the point of attempting to convince him to break me out of here. I have to work my way into his trust in slowly. Get past his gates and through the wall he's built up so high. If only he'd just let me in. We've definitely gotten closer; no longer strangers like how we used to be. But I'm not using him. I do have feelings for him – I think. No, I do. I do. He's so different. So complicated but kind. He has a tough exterior. He is guarded, and he has every right to be. He's been hurt so many times in the past. Mistreated, abused, taken advantage of. I don't want to take advantage of him. I just... I need to get out of here. I hope he understands that. He enters the room and I notice that he's holding a red leaf.

"What's this?" I ask.
"I brought it for you. It's from the woods."
"Oh," I smile as he hands it to me. "Thank you." I look up and meet his eyes. They're reluctant, but gentle. He sits down. "How is she?" I ask.
"She's alright. Doing better than she was a couple days ago."
I let out a deep breath. "Now I know how it feels I guess."
"How what feels?"
"To be the other girl. The girl who's already here. To know what it's like and to have to explain it to her." He drops his head so he's staring at his folded hands, then he nods slowly. "Do you talk to her? Like you talked to me?" I ask.
"Um," he scratches his cheek. "We've exchanged some words."
"Oh,"
"She doesn't want to talk much. But... neither did you in the beginning."
"In the beginning," I say softly, more to myself. "It seems so long ago, doesn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Avery." I say, locking eyes with him. "Can I ask you something?"
Sure,"
I hesitate. "Am I ever getting out of here – alive?"
He looks down again. "Reign –"
"It's okay. I know."
"I'm sorry," he reaches out slowly and places his hand on mine, giving it a small squeeze. I don't pull away. "Can I ask you something else?" I say.
"Sure,"
"Have you seen Colby at all? Since the last time..."
"No."
"Oh."
"Why? Do you want me to?"
"No." I say quickly. "I was just... wondering."
"You miss him." He states. I don't answer. "I get it. He's the love of your life. It's understandable. Don't worry."
"I wasn't worried." I say, and he smirks. "He hurt me. Really badly." I say.
"I know. He's a dick."
"Like, I already have enough trust issues as it is with men. And then he had to go and..." I trail off.
"He betrayed you. I know." He says. I feel tears stinging my eyes and try to turn away, but he notices. "Hey," he lifts his thumb and gently wipes them away. "He's an idiot. I would never betray you like that."
I sniffle, trying to hold back from crying. "You can say that all you want Avery." I pause. "But you're doing it every day." This hurts him. I can tell. I almost think he's going to stand up and leave like he usually does. But he stays.

We talk for a long time. I ask to play 20Q. He declines. We talk about my parents. I tell him about my mother and how kind and compassionate she was. He tells me about Charlotte; what he remembers of her. I tell him about my family vacation to Spain when I was eight. He talks about a friend he had named Danny. I ask him why he doesn't keep many friends. He asks me the same thing. I understand I guess. If my father was Dane I wouldn't want many friends; dropping by unannounced; asking questions; knowing about my personal life. It would give me anxiety. But at the same time, it can get so lonely. I think you need friends; or people to talk to at least. To keep you sane. I guess we have each other.

Once again he leaves again and I am alone. I stare at the walls for along time and dream that I am somewhere else. I dream that Avery is with me andwe have a different life. He's new to town and I show him around the shops.He's taking classes at my school, so sometimes we carpool together. He's quiet;shy really. He makes friends easily though; easier than he thinks. The peoplein my town are very welcoming. I watch him. He shakes hands and laughs. I seehis blue eyes illuminate when the light hits them. I wish it were real. I wishthings were different. I wish that Dane never took me that day. I wish that hisdaughter was still alive so that none of this would have never happened. Butdeep down, I know I'm contradicting myself; my own thoughts betraying me.Because if Breanne never died, I would never be here. I never would have metAvery. And as I think about how I wish I was somewhere else, I can't help butthink that there's nowhere else I'd have to be.