Captivated

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The bed feels colder than it usually does. No matter what I do, I can't get comfortable. But perhaps that has less to do with the mattress and more to do with the fact that I just killed someone. I can't begin to think about what I've done so I try to shut it all out. I try to be numb to the situation, but every time I feel the presence of my own hands I feel guilty and ashamed. I feel the urge to punish myself for what I've done, but I think the chain on my leg is already doing that. I pinch myself and scratch my own cheeks. I deserve to be punished. It should have been me. I should have been the one to die. But instead I got a stab wound and a slice out of my shoulder, both which are now cleaned and bandaged, courtesy of Dane.

I'm not happy to be alive right now, but I'm also somewhat glad I'm not dead either. If I had to choose which was worse – dying at the hands of a friend, or living with the guilt of killing your friend – I think I'd have to choose the latter. But then again, I'm not really in any position to be choosing what is worse considering I am still alive to make that choice. Jo cannot do the same. The tears eventually slow and I grow exhausted from crying so much. I drift off to sleep only to be welcomed by the demons in my nightmares.

__

I feel my body drift into consciousness and I slowly open my eyes. It can't be morning already, I swear I just fell asleep. Something is wrong. I feel wet. Did I pee the bed?

I rip the blanket off my body and reach down to feel my legs. The room is dark but when I pull my hands close to my face, I realize that they're covered in blood. I scream.

___

I sit on the floor of the bathroom, head leaning against the wall. I'm unfamiliar with this bathroom. It's not the one from the basement, but it's also not the one from my house. My eyes keep closing involuntarily and I have to force myself to keep them open. What is wrong with me? How did I get here? I hear the sound of running water, loud like a rushing waterfall. I lift my head, which feels heavier than ever, to see Avery sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He notices me staring at him. "Stay awake Reign." he says. I close my eyes again. Am I dreaming? What is happening? I can't remember anything.

I feel Avery's cold hands against my skin and my eyes jolt open. He gently grasps my nightgown and I quiver under his touch. I stay still as he wiggles my arms out of the sleeves, lifts the gown over my head, and tosses it on the ground beside the tub. I'm too tired and dazed out to think about what he is doing. Wearing only my bra and panties, which are covered in blood, he gently lifts my body and helps me into the tub. The warm water immediately feels soothing on my skin. The foamy bubbles are high and shelter my body. I lean forwards, drooping my head. Avery kneels on the floor beside the tub and soaks a sponge under the water. I sit there, barely conscious, staring at the bubbles. He wrings out the sponge and begins to gently scrub my shoulders. I do nothing as he washes my body and conditions my hair. It feels nice; relaxing almost. I close my eyes and imagine that I'm floating on a cloud.

"Reign," I hear his voice and am brought back to reality. "Stay awake." He says. I open my eyes slightly and stare at him.
"What's... happening..." I mumble.
"You're okay now. Don't worry,"
"What... happen –"
"No one will hurt you now," he says as he rubs the cloth across my skin.
"Where am I?
"You're in the bathtub. You had a bit of an accident,"
"Accident?"
"Mhm," he says, not making eye contact. "I think you got your period."
"My period?" I mumble. He nods his head. "How?"
"I believe you females get it every month, if I'm correct." He says. I giggle. "Is that funny?" he asks. I nod my head. Why am I so giddy? I feel so weird. And tired. It's a struggle to keep my eyes open. "Do you remember what happened?" he asks.
"No,"
"Okay,"
"What happened?"
"Nothing. You're fine, okay?"
"Okay,"
"You're almost done. We just gotta rinse out the conditioner,"
"I'm getting a bath!" I squeal, as if just realizing this fact.
"Yes, you are!"
"I've wanted a bath for so long. But Dane wouldn't let me."
He laughs. "Dane's not the nicest."
"He's not," I say. "But you are." He smirks. "You are," I say again.
"Okay, just lean your head back a little," he says and pours warm water over my head. I squeeze my eyes closed but some water still gets in. I tilt my head back and let him massage my hair through the water and rinse out the conditioner. Once he's done, I sit up and face him again.

"Why... are you doing this?" I ask.
"Doing what?"
"Helping me."
"Because you were dirty. You needed to be cleaned," he laughs.
"You're really nice,"
"No I'm not."
"Yesssss," I say. "You are so nice!"
He half smiles. "I'm not as nice as you think," I splash him with water. "Hey,"he laughs. I splash him again. He smiles wider and splashes me back.
"Hey!" I yelp.
"You started it,"
I feel a grin engulfing my face. I look up and meet his eyes. "Avery," Iwhisper.
"Yes Reign," he whispers back.
"I think I like you."
His smile drops. "Don't say that," he looks down and wrings out the wash cloth.
"Whyyyy..."
"Because it's not true,"
"Yes it iissss. Don't lie to me,"
"You don't know what you're saying Reign. Just stop."
"I do. I do. I remember... what you told me... earlier," I say. He looks up at me."In the bathroom, at dinner. You said you lliiikee mee," He looks back downagain. "Aha!" I exclaim. "I knew it!"
"You don't know what you're saying,"
"Averrryyyy,"
"Shhh,"
"Can we leave now?"
"And go where?"
"Home."
He sighs. "You are home Reign. Don'tyou remember?"
I feel my smile fade. "No."
"Yes." He says, nodding his head slightly.
"No, I want to go home. Avery. Take me home,"
"Okay Reign."
"Thank you."