Chapter 23: The Breakdown

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                                                                         "The Breakdown"

Odydus trailed behind Apollus as they witnessed the panic I created. My brother let out a gasp as he tiptoed over the pool of crimson the slave girl had started cleaning. His eyes flitted from the blood-stained bedsheets before settling on mines. "What happened to you?" he asked, wagging his head. "I did not hear anyone breaking into the palace according to my knowledge? Did someone here do this to you?" he asked, turning to the slave girl who was on her hands and knees. She froze. "Did you or some other inside traitor come in and do this?" Apollus hissed, glaring at her. Her trembling hands could barely hold on to the blood-soaked cloth.

"No, not at all your Excellency," she said, quivering.

"How did this happen then?" Odydus questioned, handing her a piece of cloth to wrap around my arm.

"I found Troy with the knife when I walked in to inspect his room this morning. He was covered in his blood. I am afraid this was self-inflicted."

"Is this true Troy?" Apollus asked briskly. I nodded.

"My goodness!" Apollus muttered under his breath.

"Please do not blame the slave girl," I said glancing over in her direction.

"Why Troy?" Apollus muttered under his breath. "I know grandfather's death is hurting all of us but trying to commit suicide is not the answer," he said in a gentler tone. "Can I have a word alone with my brother?" Apollus asked, with a hint of irritation in his voice. Odydus along with the slave girl departed the room.

"I was not intending to kill myself," I said, feeling myself get defensive.

"Oh you would have fooled me with all the blood," Apollus hissed as his sandal smeared my blood on the ground. "Why would you inflict yourself with the knife then?" I sat there on the bed, staring at my hands. "I am worried you are going to kill yourself one day," Apollus muttered with a loud sigh.

"Like you would care if I died!" I snapped. Apollus turned to me.

"Why would you say such a thing? Of course I would care," he said as his tone fell to a soft undertone. "You are my little brother. I am not saying this because I am obliged to say this but I am saying this because I do care even though you refuse to believe it. I hate being sentimental but I still worry about you. I am sorry I have not been the best brother but you have to believe me that I am not the enemy. I care enough for you not to create your own bloodbath. I do not know what I could do as your brother so you do not have to hurt yourself. Tell me what I can do; anything," he pleaded as he tried to take a seat beside me.

"There is a blood splotch right there," I pointed out, right before he placed his posterior there.

"Never mind. Thanks," he mumbled, jolting quickly from the cot. He took a cedar chair by my desk and pulled it directly across from me.

"I do not know if you can help me. I am losing touch with reality and the only way to know that I was not just dreaming this nightmare was to feel pain. I know it sounds stupid. You yourself can say it," I said grimly.

"I am not going to say it. No need to add salt to injury. I know I am good at that am I not?" he asked rhetorically. Yes you are quite an expert at that. I looked up from the white sheets as I stared into Apollus' widening pupils. "How long has this been going on? I know you have been having the night terrors but I did not realize this was an ongoing thing."

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