Chapter 20: Redemption

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"I am just joking Romeos," I said. I swung the knife from its handle like it was a toy. "I thought you could take a practical joke?"

"Maybe I do not know the difference between a joke from what is real anymore," he huffed.

"Besides if I was to use a knife to test if I was in reality it would be in the dream." I clutched the knife firmly in hand. "You have no idea how it feels to always have someone lurk in your dreams waiting to strike. But if I have the knife I gain the power back to end the dream and wake up. The dream does not have a hold on me. Pain is what makes us feel alive."

"That only works if you are certain you are in the dream and right now I am uncertain whether you can distinguish between the two. What if you wake up delusional and accidentally stab yourself because you thought you were still dreaming?" He pointed to the sharp tip protruding from my clenched fist. "That knife is going to cause real pain. Let me relay a message to you: This is reality; and you are speaking wild talk," he exclaimed.

"Then what do you propose I do?" I retorted. "I can handle the physical pain. I have dealt with it the time I woke up to reality."

Romeos just stood there, gawking. I did not expect him to understand my plight. But then how could I expect him to. How would anyone understand? He began with exasperation coloring his words, "Maybe something that does not inflict injury to you. If you are going to do this I cannot remain silent about it." He shook his head. "Please just give me the knife," he said gentling his tone. His hand extended forward, trembling. With the knife dangling in one hand, I slowly aimed it away from my wrist as I quickly slipped it towards my right hip.

"In all seriousness Troy, I do not want you to hurt yourself. Just give me the knife. Please," he begged. His hand lunged forward to grab the tip. I took a step back, stealing enough time for me to stash it into my sheath.

"I promise I will not do anything foolish. Trust me," I said.

His response was a rattled laugh. "You scared me there. Please do not do that again. Ever! I am worried about you Troy." His smile vanished, his next words sullen. "I would hate to see you do something so destructive to your own soul. What possessed you in recent time that you have lost touch with your reality?"

I shrugged. "Maybe I have gone crazy! You said so yourself. I am not normal, and have not been normal since the incident," I said with a sour twang. Romeos bit his lip as my shoulders shrank.

Just then his father burst into the room. "Romeos there you are," his father exclaimed with a hint of enthusiasm. "I will need your assistance in writing out the financial reports and expenses for the household." The father glanced at Romeos, then me before asking, "Is everything well?" Romeos stared back at me. I wished he would stop drawing more attention to me.

He gave his father a big warm grin. "I am well. You do not have to worry about me," Romeos replied in a confidant voice. I politely excused myself, while Romeos and his father attended to business matters.

"Very soon you will be managing your own household. I hope you make wiser choices than I did," I could hear his father tell Romeos. "I do not know how else to say it but I have some unfortunate news—"

His next words were cut off by the abrupt presence of a slave girl. "Do you have anywhere to be my lord?" the slave asked.

"Oh, I was just leaving," I mumbled. I sauntered around the gardens on the way to my guest bedroom with views to the garden. Every now and then a cool breeze would settle over the sultry summer air. Watching the slave girls stroll along the stone path to water the rosebushes, lilies, and other countless beautiful plants, was a pleasant relief from this morning. I found my way back to the room and plopped on the bed before the afternoon heat lulled me to sleep.

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