Blackened Wings (Andy Sixx)

Chapter 13

Sorry, but it had to happen:)

~~

(Andy's POV)

I couldn't believe it; Dallas was gone. My Dallas was gone. Forever.

Did she leave because of me? Of course she did, she didn't want someone who cut up their own wrist and shit. She needs someone better, stronger.

But the big whole in my chest just wouldn't go away. I was trying to think about the bright side, maybe she'd be happy now. But I just couldn't see a plus side to this situation. She was gone, and it was my fucking fault.

I felt more tears slide down my burning cheeks. "This is your damn fault. There's no one else to blame this time." I grumbled to no one in particular.

Someone creaked the door open, Jake actually. "Everything okay? Thought I heard- Andy? What's wrong, man?" he asked, quickly waking to my side. I was sitting on the floor, head against the wall.

"She's gone, Jake." I whispered. He sat beside me. "She's gone?" he asked. "Yeah, she left." I closed my eyes, the tears burning my eyes.

He put a hand around my shoulder, but I jerked away from his grasp. "Andy, look, I talked to  her last night." he sighed. I turned my attention back to him, "W-What did she say?" I asked nervously. Did she tell him why she left?

"She left because she felt like a burden." he sighed again, looking down. "She told you she was leaving?" I asked in shock. "Yeah, I told her not to, that you would be upset, by apparently didn't listen."

I looked at my lap, pushing back tears. Why did she tell Jake and not me? Did she not trust me enough?

~

I stomped out my third cigarette before pulling another out of the pack. I sat on the familiar bench, thinking about  pulling the small razor out of my pocket. Then I remembered, "Andy, please stop cutting, okay? For me? For the guys?"

Dallas wouldn't want that. But what if she really didn't come back?

I sighed and inhaled on the cigarette again. "Andy?" I heard. I turned and there she was standing, cigarette in hand. I felt my eyes go wide and I immediately stood up, and rushed to her, throwing my arms around her, and spinning her as I hugged her.

"W-Why'd you leave me?" I asked weakly. "I'm so sorry, Andy." she whispered. I laid small kissed along her cheeks and neck. "Please don't leave me again." I said.

She pulled away from me. "Can we sit down?" she asked. I nodded, and went to the bench, and she followed. "Look, I came because I needed to clear my head. I thought you'd be here." she sighed. I didn't reply, not sure what she was getting at.

"I know you don't understand, but I do. I'm tired of holding you back, you know? I'd love nothing more than to cuddle and fall asleep with you every night that you aren't on tour, but I can't do that, and-"

"But, I love it when you're there with me. And when I woke up, and you were gone, it scared the fuck out of me, Dallas. I n-"

She cut me off, like I did to her. "I want you to be happy. That's all. I think once you get back on tour, and see your fans, and stuff, you'll understand. I just want you to-"

"I don't want you to leave, Dallas." I ran my fingers through my hair. "But you need me to. You're a rock star, Andy. You deserve to do what you want." She looked down and I could see the tears welling in her eyes.

"What I want is for you to stay with me. Forever." I whispered the last part.

"I want to too, but my problems shouldn't be yours. Can't you see what I'm trying to say? I want you to live, Andy. You've been unhappy since I came into your life." she said, a few tears staining her cheeks. I wiped them away and took her in my arms, squeezing tight.

"Dallas," I began. "Please don't go. Please." She cried into my shirt. "I don't want to take your happiness." she whimpered. "You are my happiness, Dallas. You're why I'm still alive. I was about to cut right then," she pulled her head up, hurt in her eyes. "But I didn't. Because I remembered last night when you asked me to not do it anymore. I wanted to change for you."

She smiled slightly and laid her head on my shoulder. "You make this really hard, Andy." she chuckled. "Good." I smiled. She sniffled and pulled her knees up. "Can I come get my stuff from-"

"No. If you come back, you're staying. We start touring next week. I want to see you as long as possible." I grinned.

"Okay, I um, I think I could stay until you start touring." she smiled. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah, let's make the most of our time together." she smiled.

~

The guys all looked surprised when me and Dallas walked into the house, together.

"Dallas!" they all cheered. She smiled, her eyes gleaming. I almost felt like this was her home, not just ours.

They all hugged her, and started firing the questions. "Are you staying" "How long?" "Are you okay?"

"Wow, I'm fine guys. I decided to stay until you guys go on tour, but.. After that... I think we should go our separate ways." she explained. I felt my heart shatter all over again, and looked over at her.

"Why?" Jake asked, eyes big. "Because, I hate being a burden with all my problems."

They all looked at her with disbelief. I wondered where she got all this from, all this.. insecurity. She was amazing, and she felt like a burden? What is this fuckery? Does she not know how much I love her? How much we all love her?

She explained how she was going back to her moms place, finishing school, than moving into her own apartment. I was really proud of her for that, her priorities were straight, all independent and stuff.

"Can we go cuddle now?" I whispered so only she could hear. She nodded, taking my hand and leading me to my room. I shut the door behind us, and took my jacket off, along with my boots.

We climbed into the bed, pulling the covers around us. We tangled our legs together, and I wrapped my arms around her. Warmth surrounded us, and I felt like everything was fine, like nothing could go wrong.

"Dallas?" I said. "Yeah?" she asked quietly. "I love you." I smiled. "I love you too." she said. "Then why don't you stay?" I asked. "I can't, Andy. I can't live this dream forever." she said sadly. "But this is reality." I furrowed my brow. "It's not supposed to be. Nothing this perfect lasts forever."

I closed my eyes, and sighed. "Let's sleep on it, yeah?" I said hopefully. "Sounds good." she chuckled. I felt her snuggle into me, and sigh.

"Goodnight." I whispered. "Night." she whispered back before leaning up and placing her lips over mine. I melted into the kiss, one I had wanted since she met me at the park.

She broke the kiss once we both needed air and laid her head down on my chest once again.

~

Hi Lovely Readers! No worries, this IS an Andy Biersack fan fiction, so they will end up together. Maybe....

I have already planned out the next chapter!

I'm sad to say this book is coming to an end though! xxx Thanks SO very much for reading!! x