Blackened Wings (Andy Sixx)

Chapter 12

(Dallas' POV)

I woke to a furious tapping. I opened my eyes groggily, and wiped away the film.

"T-Tony?" I asked. He didn't respond. He just wrapped his arms tightly around me, and yanked me up, walking quickly to the door. I kicked and screamed, trying to break from his grasp, but to no avail.

"ANDY! ANDY PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!" I yelled. I could see him, dashing over to me, trying to free me from Tony's rough hands. "Tony, please stop!" I wept, my tears hitting the floor.

He shook his head, opening the door and going into the living room. "You're mine, Dallas. You always will be." he said through gritted teeth. His face showed no emotion, no remorse.

"Put her the fuck down!" Andy yelled, but his voice sounded distant. I wept loudly as I was thrown into the familiar car, and the door slammed shut on my hair. "Please, d-don't." I sobbed.

"No, you need to come home, Dallas, I need you there." He said. I sobbed even harder, putting my hands over my face.

He sighed, "Dallas," he began. "I love you, forever."

--

I jolted up, panting. I looked around, and was thankful to see Andy beside me instead of Tony. I wiped my forehead and stood up. I slowly crept to the bathroom.

I stripped and warmed the water before stepping in. I didn't do anything for a while, just stood there, letting the water raise goose bumps on my skin. Why was my life so screwed up? Why couldn't I just be happy? Completely happy... One time.

I let out a choked sob and sat down in the shower. I put my face in my hands and just cried for a while, letting everything out. "I'm so fucking done. With. Everything. Everything." I sobbed.

For the longest time, I've been unhappy. I couldn't ever be completely happy. Wouldn't everyone be so much happier without me? I would be happier in the ground, than here. It wasn't Andy. It wasn't the guys. It was me. I hated me. Myself. I hated the thought that I had the chance to wake up in the morning, and hated every time my heart thumped.

Someone was dying, and here I am, healthy as a God damn horse. I didn't deserve it. I don't deserve to live.

I stood up, wiping my face. I cut the water off, not caring about washing. I stepped out, grabbing the towel.

-

I grabbed one of Andy's black tee shirts from his dresser and slid on a pair of underwear and went back to the bathroom.

I grabbed the pen from the drawer. I grabbed some paper and sat on the step on the tub.

"Sorry for being a bother. I love you all, but I have school, and I'm bringing too many people down. Love you Andy, Jake, CC, Ash, and Jinxx, forever! Don't come for me. I just don't want to weigh you down anymore. Love you all." I wrote. I sniffled, letting a single tear droplet hit the paper.

I stood, and walked back to Andy's room. I slid on my black skinny jeans and grabbed my leather jacket. I grabbed my phone, and kissed Andy's forehead softly. "Love you, boo." I grinned. I walked to the door, looking back at him one last time before opening the door and walkin out.

------

I sat on the edge of the cliff. I looked out, at the sun, like I did every morning. Well, I used to before I met Andy. Then every morning began at eleven or so. I chuckled to myself and closed my eyes, liking the feeling of the warm sun on my closed eyelids.

"I'm so sorry, Nick. I should have been a better sister to you. I love you so much." I whispered.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out, and the message was from Andy.

'Where are you?? I woke up to go to the bathroom, and you weren't there:('

I sighed, and slid the phone into my pocket again. I just wanted to leave. I loved him more than air, but I was holding him down, and that's the last thing I wanted.

I just wanted him to be... Free, I guess. I guess I wanted to leave because I was a burden. They wouldn't admit it, but I knew. I just did. They didn't have time for me. No one did.

I dialed my mom's number, hesitantly. It was super early, and she hated mornings like I said before.

"Hello?" She said groggily. "Hey, mama." I whimpered. "Hey, baby! I haven't seen you in so long! Since when did you move the hell out!" She chuckled. "I didn't. I just... Some friends were helping me get away for a while." I sighed.

"You didn't do anything illegal, right?" She asked. "No, no, nothing like that. I just took a break from everything and rested." I chuckled. "Oh, okay. What do you need?" She asked. "Can I come home? Fall break is over, so.."

She laughed sleepily, "Of course, honey!"

I smiled weakly and thanked her before telling her I loved her and goodbye.

-

I walked inside of my home. It felt so unreal. I hadn't been here in so long, you know? My mom was in the kitchen, curlers in her hair, cigarette in her mouth.

"Hey, mom." I walked to her, and embraced her. "Hey, sweet pea." She smiled. I nodded and stepped away from her. I seriously missed her!

I smiled and walked up to my room.

I put my bag down and looked around, admiring the posters on the walls. I sighed, looking at my shoes. I slid them off and walked to my bed. I sat, sliding my pants off and taking off my jacket. I was now only in Andy's black tee shirt and my underwear. I sighed and laid down under the covers.

I closed my eyes, praying for sleep that never came. I so taken up in my thoughts.

What if I had stayed? Would I still be cuddled up with Andy? Is he upset? Does he know I've left completely, not just from beside him?

My phone vibrated on the bedside table.

'Please respond, I'm starting to worry:('

I sighed and put the phone back on the table. I really want to tell him I'm sorry, run back to his house, cuddle him, and kiss him like no tomorrow. But I can't. I can't weigh him down like that.

He doesn't need me.

I sighed, I missed him already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday came way to quick, but I was ready to get back, I guess. School would possibly get my mind off things. I cut my phone on and read through my ten missed messages.

'Please answer, I miss you, Dallas:('

'Im really worried, please answer me'

'Are you okay??'

'Come back:('

'Please answer, I need you here:('

'Dallas?:('

'Please tell me you're okay, I don't know what I would do without you...'

'Please come back, I fucking need you:( more than anyone...'

'I'm seriously pacing around, I need to know you're okay?'

'Dallas, please reply??'

I decided to at least let him know I was alive, he deserved that much. 'Im fine, I just left... I miss you already:('

It didn't take him long to reply, 'Then come back:)'

'I can't do that.' I sighed, I feel fucking horrible for making him worry that much. 'Why not? I need you:(' I looked away, tempted to apologize and run back and kiss him until my lips hurt.

'Because, I was... Weighing you down. I love you, Andy. More than anything. Please remember that. Maybe we'll meet again some day:)'

I cut my phone off, close to tears, knowing this was it. This was the end. This was where it would end for us. For me and Andy.