The Legends of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 3)

(10) The Bare Necessities

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have been caught in some compromising situations before, let me be honest. I’ve been discovered mid-burgle, the authorities have stumbled upon me carrying a dead body and I’ve even had the misfortune to be found out sneaking around because someone farted. But I can honestly say that this is the first time I’ve ever been caught with my literal pants down. Hell, they were down AND across the damn room.

“Ah….Captain, if you have a moment.” Persephone looks more bothered by the scene than I even feeling being the one caught post coitus. I mean, I know what I look like with sex hair and there is no way she isn’t mistaking this little tableau for anything but what had actually just happened.

I probably find her discomfort more amusing than I should but it makes me happy, so why fight it? I grin at Rorick as he walked over to the discarded clothes to toss his shirt at me and pull on his own trousers. Though part of me is tempted to continue to lounge around naked for a while longer, I’m actually far too paranoid for that so I pull the huge tunic on and simply belt my gun around the wait, turning the damn tent into a make due outfit. I don’t mind being naked, but I do everything I can to not go around unarmed.

“Did you miss me already sweetheart? I’ve made it into space but we’re still sucking dirt fumes up here.” I sound casual, which is good because I have a suspicion that I know what this little call is all about.

“It seems that Wanda and Maurice never returned to their respective Houses after you departed. In fact, it seems that according to reliable sources, they may have departed Auralis with you.” Persephone didn’t even hesitate to admit she has such persons of interest under surveillance, and yet she was still trying to be discreet. Probably feeling out just what exactly I was doing with these two.

Well, there’s no reason for me to play at subtle, I’m not very good at it anyways. “Oh you mean the newlyweds? Yeah, Wanda’s signed on to be my ship’s Doctor and her husband is travelling with her.” I swear to Goddess I try to keep the smugness out of my voice and off my face but it’s a doomed venture. I beam at Persephone’s shocked face while Rorick gives me that look which tells me I’m being an asshat again.

“You…Oh Goddess you…” Persephone floundered and it shows on her face that she’s mentally reviewing the rights and powers I now had from the Auctoritas that she had given me. Then there’s the sweet eye widening moment when she realizes that not only what I’d done was perfectly legal but that there’s nothing she or anyone else can do about it. “Well played Captain, well played.” Her tone sounded almost relieved that I was actually smarter than I looked. For once.

“She’s safe and sound on my ship. Less safe than if she’d stayed dirt bound, but I’m guessing far happier to be star swimming.” I admit with a shrug. One of my plans had actually worked for a change, I’m not about to let that fact get to my head.

The fact is a Doctor is not something a ship like mine normally ever has the luxury to obtain. Runners can’t really attract and keep, or even afford, the highly trained Women, and it was awfully hard to even fly with an apprentice before the Hounds or the Sisters found a way to bring you down. It was a hell of a way to control free spirits like us, force us to land and register to receive full, complete care. Except that now I have Wanda, with Auctoritas and the very write of protection Persephone had given me, I was free to the extent no other Captain could currently claim.

“If there’s nothing else Persephone, I have a rukus to get up to and amoks to be run.” I don’t sound satisfied, mainly because there’s no point to be. I’d gotten one over on Persephone but she’s supposedly on my freaking side to begin with. There are only so many tricks I can pull once the Sisters and the other jurisdiction of Hounds start chasing my sweet tin can of a space ship.