The Legends of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 3)

(6) A Faustian Bargain

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit – W.C. Fields

I’d once heard Auralis described as a majestically beautiful planet with a multicoloured sky that dazzles the eye and enraptures the spirit. Sitting on the roof of Wanda’s Family Home, smoking a rather fantastic cigar and feeling good scotch warm my gut, I may be slightly inclined to agree. The sky above me was rather pretty, in the whole eternal Aurora Borealis kind of way, and the glowing sense of satisfaction was making me feel a mite bit impressed with myself. But then again, I’m pragmatic enough to know that the good feelings are not going to last. At least I hadn’t managed to get myself or my blood slave killed yet. And Van had muffled her comm unit so I wasn’t hearing sex noises on one side anymore either.

Wanda was downstairs with the bulk of Persephone’s Hounds and I am sitting with my Rorick at my back, ignoring the death glare from Perseph’s number two. She’d wanted to have Rorick wait downstairs while the negotiations went on but I flat out refused saying “I don’t like to be outnumbered by that much stupid.” Still not entirely sure who I was insulting more with that one though. Maybe it is a good thing I kept the man meat around to help me out with the whole thinking, words putting together thing.  And since this was now a civilized negotiation and not my usual at the end of a blade, barrel of a gun type, I was going to luxuriate in the finer refinements I normally never spent money on.

“Why don’t we start out with what you’re willing to offer me right off to be a big shiny target for your undesirables, and then we’ll start adding things on from there?” I suggested to Persephone with a smug smile. Yes I am trying to get a rise out of her, I’m a screwball and this sort of pettiness keeps me happy. I’m easy to please that way. But there is a madness to my method, or however that phrase goes. I am feeling the Hound Head out. She is quite likely to be keeping something from me, many somethings actually and I can get a better vibe on those by determining what she was already willing to part with before I hint at how oblivious I actually am. See, not as dumb as I look. Thank Goddess.

Persephone is giving me this look that told my prey instincts to get ready to bolt and my blood thirsty First Daughter Prime instincts to lick their proverbial chops. Which is a tingly dichotomy to have playing with the hairs on the back of my neck, let me tell you the truth. Either way the look was giving me a warning that shit creek was deep and my sometimes ally the Hound Head was in desperate need of a bucket to bail her sinking ship out. “I can induct you into the Hounds, make you one of us which would keep the bulk of them off your back.”

“Ma’am that’s a terrible idea!” Persephone’s second in command immediately burst out, her discipline breaking at the absurdity of the Head Hound’s words.

“Deidre, shut up.” Persephone calmly commanded, and the subordinate woman plopped back into her seat with a rather astonished look on her face. Somewhere between the look you get when you’re been zapped by a live wire, and a bird has crapped on your freshly washed land crawler.

The cold, sinking and slimy sensation climbing its way down my spine, through my gut and settling in my bowels was pure horror. There was no Mother flipping, Grandmother tossing WAY I was going to go for that. But the mere fact that she mentioned it didn’t just raise red flags, it blared out trumpets of trouble too. Oh it’s a tempting offer, for a Runner like me. A legitimate Writ of Action, like the Nobility of old used to give to marauders and pirates. It would also allow me some Authority and ensure a steady paycheck. For a Runner, this is the kind of job that other Captains were trying to BUY. And I want to run away from it screaming like my hair was on fire.

“I can tell by the grotesquely pained look on your face that you’re trying to find a way of saying no thanks in the foulest mouthed, most offensive way possible. Which relieves me greatly.” Persephone added on to her statement after a moment of tense silence. “I can induct you to be one of us, but that would make a LOT of people start looking at why I’d do such an asinine thing at all, which is counter intuitive to the goals I wish to achieve with you as a target elsewhere.”