The Legends of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 3)

(1) Goody-goody gum drops

Sometimes life just sucks, and all we can do is go to our happy place where we plot our revenge - Antsy Mclain

IV- Check

Copious Amounts of Bandages- Check

Irritating heart monitor blip -double check

Morphine- oh baby

Humiliating Invalid Paper Gown- in all my ass cheek glory...

Everything a healing girl needs to feel like absolute fish bait on her own ship. Ah the glorious life for me. Normally my internal checklist was a little more guns and body armour and less I have an owwie so this list was actually just making me a little more unhappy.

Before I could get a good brood going on, my newly one-legged second in command Van crutched her way into the medic room I was trapped in. "Tink says that the repairs are all done and we can ship off the moment the brute moves your raggedy back end into the Captain's chair. Good to go?"

I scowled at my red headed, pyrotechnics addicted best friend and tried to stand up on my own. I was sick of being carted around like a side of beef, even by my blood slave turned lover Rorick. Of course there was a reason I was being carried around, as the moment I stood on my own, all of the various injuries I’d acquired let me know they hated me. My broken ribs felt like they were pressing against my lungs, the stitches in my abdomen felt close to snapping and my entire body just screamed ‘bad idea’ at me for a moment. I was rather proud of myself for not throwing up. There were various and sundry medications I could be doped with to make this more bearable but the last time I was drugged I had the irrational urge to hug people and cuddle, and that REALLY ruins my bad ass rep.

I pointed a slightly shaking finger at Van, seeing the exasperated amusement in her eyes at my current state. “Shut it." I warned her, glaring at my second in command although the effect was a little less devastatingly intimidating thanks to the aforementioned paper dress I had on. I'm a pretty, pretty princess dammit...This was not going to be my most glorious return to society ever; my blood slave was piloting my ship while my second in command was learning to walk without her leg and I was still supposed to be in the medical bay.

Don't look at me like that, I had tried to run away, it just didn't work out that easily. True, I really did look better thanthe other gal did, Trudy was dead. We'd had a little fun with a Shuffle, gravity, and the effects both had on a body in motion. The end results were that she was going to be a corpsicle floating in space and I had several broken bits all over my bad ass self.

But our various injuries weren't the reason I couldn't just stride into the city with my head held high even though we had won. Trudy had come after me because the Sisters, the ultimate in arch conservative Authority, had put a bounty on my head. There could actually be a couple of reasons why for it too. I have done my utmost best to pretty much piss off and piss on all forms of Authority. I have a knack at irritating people who try to tell me what to do. Of course, add in the fact that my secret history as a First Daughter Prime might have been discovered and I was starting to really wish I could disappear. Instead, I dumped what was left of my Run at their intended location and now got the chance to weave through an asteroid field and back towards trouble. The same asteroid field that had thrown a storm at us, harbored space pirates and let Trudy and her Hounds sneak up on us. It was surprisingly anticlimactic as we slipped back through the suddenly tame asteroid field to return to the safe side of space. My blood sister Temperance was behind me and if I could avoid getting captured or killed, or worse brought back to the Matriarch, I finally had a chance to discover something about my father.

But that would be optimistic of me; assuming that Murphy wasn't just waiting to waylay me the moment I got my hopes up. I only just learned my father's actual name, Wayne, and I had spent twenty-three years not really having a clue about him. At all. My Mother had erased all trace of him the moment he had walked out the door; she had already started sleeping with the man she'd marry to appease the Matriarch anyways. So needless to say, I wasn’t about to hold my breath on getting the whole bio script on my sperm donor of a father. It wasn’t that I was mad at him, not anymore. As a little girl I was as pissed off as a six year old could get. But then I did a whole lot of growing up in a hurry, especially after I had left home at the tender age of twelve. Let’s just say that being a self exiled orphan in space during puberty was just so much fun. Like having dental surgery without anesthetic.