The Legends of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 3)

(2) Sugar and Spice and Everything Not So Nice...

Be nice to that weird kid in school. One day he might become famous, and have unlimited access to high explosives, radioactive materials, and a security clearance second only to God - Albert Einstein

The last time we had come to Auralis, I’d had to clip the thirteen foot tether to Rorick’s blood slave collar and pretend that neither one of us was livid at this necessity. Of course, the last time we’d come here it had been to indulge in illegal body parts sales and we’d ended up saving the life of a Revolutionary leader who was overthrowing the Conservative regime but still… I was pretty much just glad to not just get blown up on landing. It’d been a few short months since we’d last been here, but I could already see some major changes taking place. The docks were pretty much the same, there’s only so many ways you can arrange for the safe landing and harboring of space ships. Although there were new, shiny big guns installed again to help take out any Pilot being pesky. But the big changes were where there had been Sister Houses. The emblems and signage of the arch conservatives were all carefully removed and replaced with whatever businesses had had the money to take over the facilities. Life had moved on without the Sisters and their Hounds without any hiccups at all it seems.

I smirked and nudged Van’s shoulder the moment I realized that one of the businesses that had taken over near the docks was a brothel. There was something just deliciously ironic about that. Van stared at the scantily clad men and Women parading shamelessly outside and in the windows of the flesh market like a cat stares at shiny tinsel. “Keep your com on and you can go play.” I informed her, tapping the small communications unit in her ear.

Van gave me a smile that chilled my blood as she all but floated over towards the sex-capades I knew were going to ensue. I’d only ever seen that look on her face when she was about to go on a spree (killing spree or shopping, either way) and have you ever seen someone with a peg leg ‘float? It’s downright creepy. Still, it was nice to actually see her looking like her old self again so I didn’t let her see me shudder.

“We do have bail money for later right?” Rorick asked me in his deep rumbling voice and I laughed.

“I’m hoping we can go see Dandy and Wanda, enlist their help and get the hell out of dodge before Van can get into that much trouble. Even she needs a little time…” I started to say as we both heard a girlish squawk of indignation and I looked over in time to see Van getting slapped right across the face by one of the whores.

“You were saying?” Rorick had leaned down to whisper smugly in my ear and it gave me goose bumps.  

“Don’t think I won’t use the leash and muzzle if you start saying I told you so cockie.” I bluffed warningly. Both Rorick and I know that I hate to use those things but still… gotta say something to my blood slave so that anyone listening in doesn’t get the wrong idea.

I’d used to pretend to all but barely tolerate Rorick. It was a wonderful charade to keep him from realizing I’d fallen in love with him. In fact it had been so effective that I’d kept us both from realizing the mutual passion for a long, long time. And then we’d gotten together anyways. Which only made pretending to still be Master and Slave in public all the harder. And yet far more entertaining because now we both knew the inside joke and most of the rest of the universe didn’t. Add in to it the fact that I love to get him all riled up, right seething mad and almost frothing at the mouth angry, and then put him in a situation where he has to stuff all that fantastic rage away, and it just shows how seriously messed up this relationship probably is. Still, we enjoy ourselves and that’s what counts right?

“You know where to find Dandy?” I asked my blood slave, knowing that he had once been a servant to the slimy toad.

“You could always hail him and Wanda…” Rorick replied and trailed off. I thought it was due to the less than thrilled expression painting my face at the mention of that Woman’s name but his dark eyes flicked behind me and I knew something unpleasant was slithering its way towards me.

So I pulled out my pistol, spun around and shoved it in the face of whoever it was trying to come up to us. Now, the last time we’d been dirt side here, there was a rather irritating no weapons allowed rule. Polite society required that we sign a waiver declaring ourselves to be for the peace and weapons free and they couldn’t search us (without cause), so we just snuck them in anyways. I wasn’t actually sure that rule had been revoked so I probably shouldn’t have blatantly gone for the gun right off but there are some habits that I just refuse to break. The poor girl almost peed herself right then and there when she saw the gun. She was maybe twenty, maybe Van’s height and maybe not the brightest person in the world because she stood nose-to-barrel with my gun and never once looked like she was going to try and duck. The wide eyed expression of animalistic terror on her face told me that she was also definitely not used to violence and probably from a sheltered, well to do family. So what in the Goddess’ heaving bosom was she doing here at the docks?

“I…I…ah….” The girl stammered and I have to admit that the sick, twisted and downright cruel part of me was enjoying itself so I kept the gun right where it was. Until Rorick subtly nudged me with his elbow; trust me when I say that it’s akin to being gently nudged by an earthquake.

I lowered my pistol back to its holster, letting my trademark jacket cover it up and doing my best not to wince at the pain all my spinning about and badassing had done to my still healing body. “You…you…be…” I mocked, making the girl frown in confusion and Rorick sigh at my sense of humour. I swear I’m just so funny that these mere mortal minds can’t comprehend it.

“I’m with port authority and welcome to Auralis, officially designated planet Burgundy.” The girl said in a rush, the words spoken with the cadence of a long memorized script. Since I’d already figured out what she was with the clip board clutched in her grip like a shield, and I had in fact been here before, I could have saved her to trouble, but instead I let to poor girl recover herself by following her script without interruption. “The city is a peace loving place and though our recent history has had some turbulent times all is well now. That being the case, all landside personnel are required to be armament free and for the peace.” She swallowed as I just looked at her, not even pretending to be willing to give up my gun.

“I’m Captain Felix Katt, I’m here to speak with Wanda….” I trailed off as it only just occurred to me that I didn’t have a damn clue what her Matriarch name was. Or even Dandy’s real name.

“Alba.” Rorick supplied her last name for me and I gritted my teeth that there was a history there that I still didn’t have most of the details on. My crew and I had operated for years under the unspoken rule that we didn’t ask about each other’s pasts. Now they had already pretty much figured out the pertinent details of mine, but I was still in the dark on vast majorities of theirs.

“Wanda Alba.” I finished, not exactly able to squash the growl in my voice as I said that Woman’s name. The poor girl from port Authority looked ready to faint, or cry. Clearly I needed to tone down my hostile a little. So I put a smile of my face. In response the girl swallowed and took a step back. Well that was a patent failure. “Listen, just send her a message that Captain Felix Katt is here with her ship Destiny and would like a world. Word... I meant word... Let the Lady and her security detail figure out if I’m safe or not. I can wait right here, or if that makes you uncomfortable, we can return to my ship and wait for hailing there. Savvy?”

I can only imagine what we looked like to her. Rorick is the size of the average bull elephant, at least to someone like her, all bulky muscles and bald head. He’s rough in features and although I find him heartbreakingly attractive, to others he just looks dangerous. Add in the gauntness that comes from the harrowing time we’ve been having lately and the general air of unbroken maleness that he always had and Rorick could scare the average citizen into heart palpitations. Looking at him made my heart skip a beat for entirely different reasons. I probably cut a pretty intimidating figure too, if I do say so myself, and I do because unlike my man meat, I can boast about myself all I want.

Still, whatever we looked like, it was enough that the port Authority girl had no clue how to handle us. Even with me trying to give her a good, viable option that wouldn’t even be breaking any rules I could see the concern in her eyes. And when I looked from her taking another step back from us, I realized that this was just not going to go the way I wanted it to. Because about a dozen or so yards down the way behind her came her version of back up. Eight burly looking goons wearing what looked like an attempt at a uniform all emblazoned with ‘Auralis Security’ on it. Half were male, half were female and they all looked unpleasant.

“Might need that bail money sooner than I intended Roar.” I said casually to my blood slave. Sadly, he just grunted in agreement.