The boy that you loved, is the man that you fear~ Marilyn Manson

Chapter 18

So nine months, nine months is all it takes to form and carry a child in my womb. But it'll take longer to have a wedding after having a child and wanting your body back to the way it was before I got pregnant, but that's want I want to do, that's what I have to do in order for me to keep my sanity.

Brian asked me if I wanted to have the wedding before or after I have the child and even though I already have the answer, I don't want to tell him. I don't want to tell him because I know how badly he wants to get married. He talks about us getting married all the time, he's even given me the nickname "future wifey" and all though it's adorable and it makes me love him even more, I can't bring myself to get married while I'm like this, I just can't.

Time lapse
A few months have gone by.

I wake up to the feeling of being kicked repeatedly in the stomach by the child I am carrying inside me. I sit up straight away and begin to groan in pain, I tried  to get up off the bed without making a noise, but that never works and Brian always catches me. "Sof? What's wrong?" I hear him ask. I turn to face him and he see's that I'm in pain. "Is... is it the baby?" He asks and I nod my head in reply. "Do you... Well do you mind... Can I..." He begins to ask. "You want to touch it?" I manage to say while trying to hold back the pain. Brian nods his head and comes closer to me and I lay back down onto the bed. Brian lifts up my shirt and reveals the baby bump I have been trying to hide lately. He rests his hand down onto my stomach and we both go silent, waiting patiently for something to happen. Then suddenly the baby kicks hard and Brian was able to feel it, "Oh my god! Did you feel that?" He asks looking up to me. I raise my eyebrow at him and smirk, "Oh right, of course you did aha." He replies while being a little embarrassed, which I think is cute.

After a while the baby finally stops kicking and I start to feel much better. Brian still has his hand on my stomach and is cuddling up to me. "You know, I really can't wait for this baby to come. I'm so excited for it and I'm so excited for the wedding too." Brian says as he continues to rub my belly. "Mmhm" I reply. "Sof I know your stressing out about everything right now, mainly about what to do about the baby and the wedding. But you know you don't have to deal with it all by yourself, I'm right here for you." He says. I begin to sit up because I didn't know how to react to what Brian just said. "Brian if you knew I was stressing out about everything why did you wait until now to bring it up?" I ask. "Because I know what your like, you would have lied to me and told me you are fine. So I thought now would be a good time to talk about it, when your comfortable and we're alone." He replies. "Oh, I see." I say. Brian sits up too and pulls me into him, he wraps his arms around me and holds onto me tight, "Sof I really do love you, you know that right?" He asks. "Well yeah, I mean you do tell me that everyday so I think by now I'd know." I reply jokingly. "Sof, I'm serious." He says. "Brian, of course I know you love me. I really do love you too and I'm sorry for being so distant lately, I'm just so scared right now and I've been worrying about what you've been thinking lately." I reply. "What I've been thinking?" He asks, confused. "Yeah, well because I know how excited you are for the wedding, but I don't really know how you feel about the baby." I reply. "Oh I see" He replies. "You've probably been thinking I'm more excited for the wedding than I am for the baby, but that's not true. I'm excited for both equally and I'm here to support you through both any way I can." He says. "Oh... well then. That makes me feel better knowing you think that, then again it makes me annoyed knowing that I was stressing about nothing really." I reply. "Baby?" Brian says. "Yeah?" I reply. "I know I've asked you this before but, what do you want to do? Have the wedding now or wait till after the baby? I won't mind either way." He says. "You wont?" I asked stunned. "Nope, it's up to you and I'll be fine with anything you choose.." He replies. "Really! Yay! So this means we can wait till after we have the baby?" I ask. "Aha, yeah of course. I just want you to be happy." He replies. "I am so beyond happy right now." I say. Brian leans close to me and kisses my forehead and I close my eyes and fall back asleep in his arms.