Levi Harris: A Guide to Middle School

Episode 31: Impulse

Episode 31: Impulse

   Have you ever had a nightmare that just haunted you for ages? And the more you tried to get your mind off it, the more it gripped onto you and captured your unwilling mind? Some of you who read this might understand what I mean but for the rest of you, I would like to say that these nightmares are the ugly truth of what you wished not to be true. You might not believe the nightmare but something deep inside you knows that there might be some truth in it and that’s what grips onto your mind. That’s what pulls your mind into a never-ending path where the nightmare plays over and over again on a large screen television that is situated right in front of your eyes. This episode is the story of the nightmare that I incurred.

    It was dark and I couldn’t see anything. Then suddenly a bright light appeared right in front of me and a blue bench appeared out of nowhere. I recognized the blue bench as one of the benches we had at our school and moved closer to it. As I moved closer to it, two figures started to appear. They were blurry at first and I couldn’t make out who they were but I had a hunch. My heart started beating faster and my breathing became slower until I struggled to breath. I kept on walking until I recognized the two figures as Angelina and I. We were having a small conversation and it seemed that it was about nothing that serious but Angelina’s face showed worry and fear as she stared into the other me’s eyes.

‘I can’t trust you anymore. You’re just a whore.’ I snapped. I wondered why I was talking to Angelina like this. It was unlike me. Angelina wiped a tear that escaped her eye and stared into space.

‘But… but… I didn’t mean to Lee. You know I love you right?’ she replied. She was starting to sob and I felt sorry for her. A pain grew in my chest and was starting to plummet towards my stomach.

‘Yeah whatever Angie, you say that shit all the time but you always screw me over don’t you? You’re a whore, I don’t care.’

‘Lee, please… this wasn’t my fault. I swear I never…’ she began but the other me interrupted.

‘Oh shut up! You think I’m an idiot don’t you? I aint one alright!’

‘Lee, Please… I couldn’t do anything about it. He grabbed me and just…’ the vision blurred and I was at a familiar scene. It was the school basketball court and I knew it was the school prom. One thing I didn’t write before is that I never went to the Prom the year before this one because I was afraid my nightmare would come true. I was with Angie holding a plastic cup that was empty. We were just swaying with the music and having a laugh. It smelt like peaches… sweet peaches. I could hear some music in the background but I couldn’t tell what song it was.

‘I’ll go refill our drinks then.’ I announced to Angelina. She nodded and I gave her a peck on the lips before I left for the punch bowl. It seemed really quick but as I was refilling our drinks, Mustafa had come up to Angelina and they started to talk.

‘Look, Mussy, I don’t want to talk about this right now. Please give me some time.’ Angie said. I could hear them even though they were metres away from me. I looked around and noticed many tables that had snacks poured all over them and crowds and crowds of people surrounding them, all trying to snatch a chocolate and crisp.

‘I can’t believe that after the shit between you two, you still wanna be with him. With me, you wouldn’t have to ever fight.’ Mustafa replied. She looked at him and smilled before saying:

‘Sorry, I love Levi… not you. It’s always gonna be like this.’ She tried to escape but he grasped her hand. At this time, I was just a spectator to it all but in a few seconds; he turned her around and locked his lips with hers. They started to hold hands and get really intimate before Angelina pulled away with a guilty look on her face.

‘I know you got feelings for me but you pretend that you enjoy life with this guy. He’s my friend and all but you… you’re something special and he doesn’t appreciate you the way I do.’

‘The fuck you think you doing man?’ I shouted while walking towards him.

‘Levi, I swear he kissed me, I never…’ she began while running towards me but I pushed her out the way. Her heel caught onto her purple dress and she fell over and scraped her knee.

‘Oi man, don’t start.’ Mustafa warned but I was tired of his bullshit. I grabbed him by his collar.

‘I thought I asked you something?’ I asked him. He chuckled at this.

‘Don’t try to act tough. We all know you’re a pussio.’ He retorted. We looked at each other for ten seconds before he spat in my face. I wiped it off and head butted him. He fell to the ground but was quick to jump out and lash out. He punched me several times and we both fell on the floor and wrestled each other.

‘Lee… Mussy! Stop! You’re both acting stupid!’ Angelina shouted. We didn’t listen and continued to go at each other. I managed to punch him a few times before I was pulled away from him.

‘You guys are in a ton of trouble.’ I heard a voice announce. I turned around to see Mrs. Bibiton. My blazer was torn and my shirt was crumpled. Mustafa didn’t look any better.

     We were heading towards her office and we both looked like a wreck.

‘I’ve been waiting for a day you two slip up.’ She said. Even though we were behind her, I could see that she was smilling since I could see the corner of her mouth.

We turned went upstairs into her office and she sat down with a smile running from one ear to the other.

‘So, what excuse do you have for causing this?’ she asked.

We kept quiet. We had no explanation. I wondered whether she had the grounds to suspend or even expel us since it wasn’t even a school day. Even though, my heart was still racing in my chest.

‘I guess you have nothing to say… How sad.’ She said before breaking out into laughter. It was wicked and sounded witch like.

‘You boys have caused much trouble in this school and I’ve always dreamt about this day. The day I tell you that you can’t continue at our school.’ She snorted as she broke into hysterical laughter.

‘Miss… This aint even a school day so what you chatting about?’ I snapped. I felt that it was unfair against us.

‘Don’t use that dirty tongue on me!’ she snapped back. Veins started poking from her forehead and sweat was dripping all over her face. Her head was enlarging and that made me realize that all of this was just a dream.

‘Hey Lee?’ I heard a voice call. It was sweet and small. I raised my head off my pillow and my mind replayed the dream to me.

‘Are you okay? You took a pretty bad knock from that guy at Sea Cliff.’ She said. It just had to be Angelina. It’s times like those where I feel that my life is under control by some demiurge and he bends the world so that I always have that damn pit in my stomach.

‘I’m alright. It wasn’t nothing anyway. I just got a small headache, that’s all.’ I replied, trying to sound tough.

‘Oh okay. I worry about you Lee. Shit always seems to happen to you.’

‘Yeah well I got you to make me feel better don’t I?’ I replied. It sounded corny… really corny.

‘Yeah but I always seem to upset you don’t I?’ she said through her soft, sweet voice.

‘C’mon Angie, no need to say that. Look, we had a tough past but it seems to me that I can’t get enough of you. You’re what fills that empty void I call my life.’ She chuckled a bit before looking into my eyes. She was crying.

‘If I ever lose you Lee, I don’t know what I’ll do.’ She said. I pecked her on the lips and hugged her.

‘You won’t Angie… Trust me, you won’t.’

Even though I was trying to be sweet, I tried my best to keep onto that promise. The thing about promises is that once you make it, there’s always something that tries to tempt you to break it. So as we were sitting on my bed hugging, I whispered into her ear the first thing that came into my mind.

‘I think I want to marry you.’