Rants, Stories, and Etc.

Chapter Forty: Bawk Bawk

Just so you know, this chapter is going to be kind of how I would write a diary entry with lots of questions that I answer and some conversations with myself. So consider yourself warned.

Dear Diary,

I am such a chicken.

You know that moment when you want something, but you aren't going to say anything because you're almost sure that even if you ask, you won't get it? This is one of those moments. I've had a lot of those actually.

Like when I wanted a Facebook. But I was only 13 and my mom said I didn't need one and she didn't want me having one because there's lots of swearing and bad language and I have to be careful who I friend and just... I couldn't get one then. I still want a Facebook, but I'm not going to ask again. Heck no.

Same with a Twitter, but I never asked for one, just have wanted one for a while. If I was one of my devious cousins, I would probably make a Twitter without asking for it and then just try not to let my parents find out. But I'm actually a good child and listen to my parents. This is because I'm scared of getting in trouble. It has been like, years since I was grounded.

I also want to do YouTube videos. You know, like JacksGap or Jenna Marbles or Marcus Butler or Tyler Oakley. Except I'm not as cool as them. :) The reason I don't is the same reason I don't do anything. Because I would have to ask my mom and then get told no.

I swear, if I was a guy, I would never end up asking a girl out because I'd be so afraid of rejection. Thankfully, I'm not a guy.

The reason my mom says no a lot is because she has no faith in my ability to be safe while using the Internet. She doesn't even really like me PMing someone on Wattpad, because essentially I'm talking to a person I've never met before. But it's not like I'm going to give anyone my address or personal contact information! I'm a responsible teenager that listens to her 98% of the time, and most of the other 2% is because I forget what she said right after she said it.

Really, I have a horrible memory.

So there you go diary, that is why I am a chicken. Because I can't even ask for something, even if there is a 50% chance they'll say yes. And all because there is a 50% chance they'll say no. I'm such a risk taker, aren't I? That was rhetorical by the way.

*sigh* At this rate, I'll get a Facebook and Twitter when I'm 18, and will start doing Youtube then too. Maybe I'll even get to buy a candy bar at the store! (Yet another thing I don't usually ask for when I want one).

I can hear the chicken noises. Bawk Bawk Bawk!

At least I have Wattpad. Come to think of it, I didn't ask if I could sign up for Wattpad. But I was already on another website like this that she had granted me permission for and so I didn't think about it. Then I got in trouble until I explained that Wattpad was like the other book website.

FB and T are a whole different story though, because she already told me no for those. And I now she's only trying to keep me safe from all the dangers of the Internet and any bad things on FB and T, but I wish I could at least get one, if not both. For a Facebook, it's not like she wouldn't be able to see what I was posting and sharing and writing.

Whatever, it's not that important. It's just that being a homeschooled teenager I feel left out from some of the other things teenagers get to do, including Facebook. Haha, I'm guilt tripping my mom and she doesn't even read this. That's just pathetic. Tsk tsk tsk Kayla.

Bye Diary!

Okay guys, sorry for making you read my rant thing. But do you have any advice for me?

Peace out! Stay smart, stay beautiful, be funny and spread sunshine with a smile!