Chapter 4: Talking, talking, talking

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So, one of the things I've never been good at is talking to people. My good friends? Sure, I could probably talk their ears off but if it's just casual acquaintances or even worse, strangers, then I'm lost. I feel like my tongue swells up in my mouth and my body will start shaking.

When I signed up to be a YouTuber, I didn't really thing about the fact that professional YouTubers often do talks. About their audience, about what YouTube is (as many still struggle to grasp it) or about a cause they're passionate about. I'd seen Nate do it countless of times and he always does it so effortlessly, like it's the easiest thing in the world. He wouldn't even need to pre-write his speech, he'd just go for it.

That's why I told Gleam to politely decline any request to have me come speak anywhere. I'd get there some day but with barely a month under my belt as a YouTuber, I still didn't feel ready.

One thing that I had gotten quite good at was answering e-mails, whether that was on my personal one, my university one, my blog one or my YouTube one. I tended to swift between them, only having my personal forwarded to my phone.

It was a Friday afternoon and I had just finished my last exam the day before and now I was headed to a meeting with my university tutor. He had e-mailed me earlier today and asked if we could schedule a meeting. I had happily agreed as I needed to sort out in the direction of my education.

"Hi Richard," I said and shook his hand as I walked through the door to his office.

"Hi Abigail," he said in a friendly tone and gestured at the chair for me to sit down. I did and let my school bag fall to the floor besides me.

"How did exams go?" he asked.

I fought the urge to shrug. I had been so busy with launching YouTube that my studying had taken a slight backseat. Still I felt I had done fine, but probably not as good as I usually did. I did well with my living photo of the tree, which I had a feeling that would be praised by my art teacher.

"Fine," I said with a smile, hoping he didn't see right through me.

"Good. I must admit I was a bit worried about you. I came across an article online that stated you've started a YouTube channel."

Bloody hell. Even my university tutor had heard. I had tried to ignore the glances from fellow students who suddenly know who I was when I was taking my exams these past weeks. No one came up to me and their staring was just a bit creepy.

"Yes," I confirmed. "In the beginning of this month. It's been quite a journey."

I had made a sixth video, a sit-down vlog about all my thoughts and feelings after the launch of my channel, both to get everything off my chest but also to thank people for the massive amount of support.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about my placement. Could it be possible for me to intern at the talent agency that now manages me? They didn't officially before when I was only a blogger and I've done loads of administrative work with them."

"I can't see why that shouldn't work. You've worked hard to catch up with the semester you took off. We could move some things around and that could be the place for your placement, we just need to make sure it's not some sort of conflict of interest," he said and I felt more like a burden had been lifted off my chest.

The prospect of taking time off from my studies to work with Gleam, which I would probably have done anyway, was so great. I would much rather be doing that than having my head re-buried in books.

"Great," I said and pulled out a sticky-note that I dotted Dom's number down on. "This is the managing director. I'm sure he can assure you that Gleam could be great for me."

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