Falling for the Player, My Best Friend.| cammyyf ♥︎

Chapter 15: Broken.

*SKIPPING TO MONDAY*

I woke up to my annoying alarm clock, again. I'm so tempted to throw it out the window. I quickly got ready. I ended up wearing a white shirt, denim jeans, and a red flannel. I said goodbye to my dad as I walked out of the house. I placed down my skateboard and started skating. I looked around me. Trees were slightly moving, the sky was blue and the sun was bright.

Once I reached the school I got off my skateboard, grabbed it and walked inside. I didn't feel okay. I didn't feel satisfied. I didn't feel happy.

If your wondering what happened to Jayden he went on a family trip for the week. He said he'll be back on Thursday.

I headed towards my first class, that I had with Alex. I found the class and walked in. I sat next to Alex and pulled out a notebook. I got my notebook and started writing down whatever I felt.

Pain.
Sorrow.
Sadness.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Disconsolated.
Death.
Broken.
Destroyed.
Weak.
Fat.
Dumb.
Stupid.
Miserable.
Terrible.
Harmful.
Horrible.
Unhappy.
Dejected.
Downcast.
Down.
Despondent.
Despairing.
Desolate.
Wretched.
Wrecked.
Heartbroken.

"Noelle?" I heard someone say.

I looked up and saw a guy standing in front of me. He didn't look hot, didn't look ugly. He had hazel eyes, black hair, and a nice jawline.

"Yeah?" I sorta whispered, loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm Zach. I'm new, moved from California. The teacher told me to sit next to you because there's an empty seat next to you." He replied.

I slightly nodded, irritated that he interrupted my writing session. As he sat down next to me, he tried making a conversation. Everytime he tried, I just nodded and looked down.

I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I felt broke, like 5 years ago. Looking at the ground, remembering that moment.

*FLASHBACK TO 5 YEARS AGO*

My aunt was right in front of me. Lifeless. You may be wondering, why do you care so much about her? But she was the one there for me when my parents fought. She was the one to make me laugh when I was sad. She was my happiness. Do you know what it feels like, losing your only happiness? My brother makes me happy, but he's barely home. He usually with my cousins. My parents make me happy, but their always working. My aunt was the one who took care of me when I was broken. She picked up my pieces and put them back together. Losing her made me break into pieces.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

I wrote one last word in my notebook before leaving class.

Suicide.

I closed my book and put it into my backpack.

*SKIPPING TO LUNCH*

I walked out of the school, placing down my skateboard. With tears falling out of my eyes, I skated home. I didn't feel well. When I got home, I soon opened the door and saw my dad. He looked at me, eyes filled with concern.

I just looked away and headed upstairs. I dropped my backpack and skateboard in my room. I started crying more and more each second. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, I just do.

Tears kept on falling. Never stopping. I grabbed my phone and called Jayden.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Look, I don't know if your going to hear this but I feel alone. I feel sad. I feel unsatisfied. I feel broken. I feel destroyed. I know your on a trip, but I just feel all these negative things that I wish you were here. I want you holding me, you make me feel safe." I whispered.

After I finished that message, I went to the bathroom. I opened the cabinet under the sink and saw the blade.

I grabbed the blade.

I spelled "broken" on my arm, with the blade.

I cried once more.

Put the blade away.

Closed the cabinet.

Walked out of the bathroom.

Quickly changed.

Got on my bed.

And cried myself to sleep.

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