The Young In Our Veins (Ryden)

Chapter 12

**Brendon's POV**

What Ryan did was fucked up, but that's no excuse for what I said to him. I don't know why I did it, but I immediately regretted it.

He told me he loved me.

I stared at the lyrics taped to the wall above my bed. They were all I had left. Especially now. God, I'm such an asshole. This happens to me every time. I have a good thing going for me and then I fuck it up beyond repair.

I consider calling him, but he wouldn't answer. Even if he did, I'd probably start acting up again. Why do I have to be so bi-polar?!

"You need to just call him and apologize." Sarah groans over the phone. "You've been ranting for the past ten minutes."

"I can't call him! He probably hates me!"

"Brendon, he told you he loves you not even twenty minutes ago. Why would he change his mind that quickly?"

"Cause of the shitty things I said to him."

"Just call him." I take a sharp breath and I throw myself onto my bed.

"Fine. I'll call him."

"Good. Bye."

"Wait no Sarah! I need your help-" Bitch hung up. I sigh and shakily type in Ryan's number. On the fifth ring he answers the phone.

"Hello?" His voice is shaky. It sounds like he's been crying. Probably. Defiantly.

"Umm... Hey Ryan. It's Brendon."

"What do you want?" He hisses.

"To apologize." Ryan sighs deeply.

"Never ignore someone who loves you, misses you, and cares for you, because one day you'll wake up from your sleep and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars." He says sadly. Ryan continues to amaze me with his words. He's obviously a writer.

"Ry..."

"What do you want from me Brendon. I told you the truth. I told you how I felt. Can't you just accept it?"

"I can! And that's why I'm talking to you right now, because... I ah... I..." I can't get that word out. I can't find it in me. I do love him, but I can say it. I know better than that. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." I could just see Ryan rolling his eyes.

"You know Brendon, you're not who I thought you were."

"What do you mean?"

"How can you go from being this perfect guy, to a selfish fucking asshole?"

"Hey! That's not needed Ryan!"

"It is! Do you realize how bad it hurt when you said those things?! You made me feel like shit Brendon! I have enough to deal with right now! I don't need you fucking with my emotions!"

"I know Ryan! Just hear me ou-"

"No! You don't fucking know! You're not carrying a god damn fatal disease! I'm going to fucking die Brendon and your gonna keep living your life as your happy go lucky self with out me okay? Cause I don't need your shit!"

"Would you just listen to me! Jesus fuck! Maybe if you would stop feeling bad for yourself for one minute you'd realize that I want to be there till the fucking end okay?"

"How dare you Brendon! I don't feel sorry for myself!"

"Ryan."

"I can't believe you would say something so shitty!"

"Ryan."

"God you're such an ass!"

"Ryan!"

"What Brendon?!"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"No?" He's so damn cute. I laugh lightly and shake my head. "Why are you laughing?"

"I said I want to be there till the end Ryan. I want to be there for you always. I... I... I love you, Ryan." He goes quiet and I start to panic.

"No you don't." Why is he allowed to say it and I'm not? "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying! I read your songs... both of them. They were amazing."

"How did you get those?!" Ryan yelps.

"You left them at my house."

"Fuck."

"You should come and get them." I say seductively. I miss Ryan and his soft lips and his beautiful body and his warm skin at night.

"Okay.." He whispers. Well. That was easy. "Can you come and get me?" His voice is so soft I can hardly hear him.

"Yeah." I feel so hot right now. I'm not ready to have sex with Ryan, but god I can't wait to have his mouth on mine again. "Yeah, I'll be there. Be ready for me."

"I will."

"Bye Ryan." I say huskily. I hang up and practically run to my car.

My fingers turn white from gripping the steering wheel and I feel myself getting more and more turned on by the minute. I'm doing this. I'm not going to ever leave Ryan. I will be there for him.

No matter what.

(AN: This chapter was hard to write. It's pretty shitty, I know, but the next chapter will be soooo much better. I know I said I wouldn't make Brendon's POV a regular thing, I will when I need to. Btw, the really poetic thing Ryan says to Brendon is something I found on Facebook. I can't be that skilled. Anyway! Does anyone else smell lemons? ;) comment and vote! Much love <3)