The Young In Our Veins (Ryden)

Chapter 7

His kisses. They were more than I could ever ask for. If I were to die today, at least I'd die happy.

I have to tell him.

Brendon needs to know.

I was laying in the bed, still naked. Brendon had already gotten ready for work and kissed me goodbye. I swear all we did was kiss. I wouldn't allow things to go farther. I won't ever.

Should I leave a note.

Maybe I could write him a poem. Yeah, a poem about me having AIDS. Seems like a good idea.

I'm just gonna tell him face to face. How though?

I manage to find a pencil and paper and sat at the bar, tapping the eraser against the counter. I looked out the window across from me and sighed. I never noticed the face that Brendon's apartment building over looked a lake. It's so beautiful. I begin to sing words quietly. "A day dream spills from my corked head, breaks free of my wooden neck. Left a nod over sleeping waves, like bobbing bait for bathing cod. Floating flocks of candle swans. Slowly drift across wax ponds."

The words begin to fill the paper as I scribble them down. "The men all played along to marking drums and boy did they have fun, behind the sea. They sang, so our matching legs are marching clocks and we're all too small, to talk to god. Oh we're all too smart to talk to god." I yawn. Fuck all this fatigue. I strip off my boxers and crawl under the sheets. It smelt so good, cause Brendon and I went to bed with clean, wet hair last night.

I hug a pillow close to me, already accustomed to Brendon's arms. One kiss shouldn't have my mind going this crazy. It's not fair. Why couldn't Brendon have moved just a couple months earlier. I would have never slept with Adam. That bastard. Why is it that he gets the survivable disease? I'm the better person, am I not? I didn't try to rape anyone. I let out another deep yawn and drift into a restless sleep. I just couldn't take my mind off of what I was going to say.

•••

"Ryro! Oh Ryro!" I open my eyes and stretch. "Ryan, get your booty out here!" Brendon yells from another room. I get out of bed and find a pair of shorts to slide on. Their a little big, but they'll have to do. I creep into the living area and see a small box on the couch. No sign of Brendon. I pad over to the box and look at the small note on top of it. "Ryro, I felt bad that you didn't get your Boston Cream today, so I got you one. Come find me ;) ~Bren"

I sigh happily and smile. Hide and go seek. Seems like a classic Brendon move. Hyper active little freak. I take a step and something soft gets crushed by my foot. A rose petal. There was a whole trail of them. I'm going to feel like such shit when I tell him. I follow the rose trail to a patio I never knew Brendon had. Learning a lot about Brendon's place today. Brendon sat on a plaid blanket and a small dinner set up joined him. "Hi." I say. Brendon was spacing out, looking out to the sky when I brought him back to the real world.

"Oh, hey Ry." He flashes his perfect teeth. "Go on, sit down." I do as he says. "You look pretty cute in my shorts. They're a little big, but I think that makes them even cuter." He leans over and places a kiss on my cheek.

"These are yours?" He nods. "Oh, I just picked them up."

"Are you commando under there?" Brendon asks leaning close, raising an eyebrow. I push him away and he chuckles.

"So what it's all this?"

"Our first date." My heart pumps hard in my chest. Oh Brendon... It'll be the worst first of your life.

"Aren't you supposed to ask the person first?" I say trying to keep my stress level to a minimum.

"Would you have said no?" He says with a sly grin. Ok, good point. "Anyway! Just enjoy this, okay? I put a lot of work into it. What's your favorite food Ry?" He already knows and already did that. "Boston Cream, if I'm not mistaken?"

"I know, I already saw it." I say smiling.

"And you didn't eat it?!"

"Well no. I was focused on finding you."

"Permission to kiss you?"

"Would I really say no?" Brendon blushes and leans to me, placing a soft kiss on my lips. If I haven't said it already, Brendon is a great kisser. Like really great. I mean, it could just be cause its with Bren, but he's just really good. As we pull apart, I nibble Brendon's lip gently. He grins.

"Oh so this is how we're kiss now. I got you." Brendon smirks and leans back into my lips again. This time he immediately forces his tongue into my mouth. It catches me by surprise, but after the shock of it, I start to love it. It's my turn though. I slide my hands up Brendon shirt and fight back forcibly. Brendon bites my tongue then sucks on it sexually.

I moan. Fuck. If he just sucks tongue like this, how would he be blowing me?

No. I can't think of that type of stuff. That's what made me kiss him in the first place. That burning want for him. He's forbidden fruit. Or maybe I am. If Brendon knew, he'd know I was off limits, but would he lust after me anyway? Would I be too damn irresistible? Of course not, because I'm just Ryan Ross. Writing major. I'm nothing special. But Brendon... he is most defiantly something special. I can't let this go for any longer.

"Brendon... I can't. I can't do this." I whisper.

"What? Why? Am I being too aggressive? I can stop. You just have to tell me Ry."

"No. No Brendon, you're amazing. It's just that... it's something I did... I haven't been honest with you. I just... I don't want to loose you."

"You won't Ry."

"But I will..." I whine. My vision blurs and Brendon quickly wipes away the tears, pulling me into his arms.

"Just tell me Ryan."

I take a deep breath. I can do this."You know how I've been sick?"

"Yeah, is it cause you don't want me to get sick too? Cause I could really care less if I catch a little cold."

"But it's not a little cold Brendon."

"You know what it is? That's great Ry! Now you can get on meds to get rid of it!"

"That's the thing Brendon... I can't get rid of it. I'm stuck with it. I ah... God I don't know how to tell you Brendon." He places a soft kiss on my lips and takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"You can tell me anything. I mean anything."

"Brendon... I umm... I have um... Shit.. I have acquired immunodeficiency syndrome." Brendon's brows furrow.

"What's that?" He asks.

"AIDS Brendon... I ah.. I have AIDS." I close my eyes and his grip on my hand loosens. Oh no... This is what I was worried about. I knew this would happen.

"What?" Brendon says, backing up slightly. "Isn't that fatal?" I nod and close my eyes even tighter. Maybe when I open my eyes this will all disappear. Maybe Brendon and I will never meet and I can just die without heartbreak. "Ryan? Are you okay?" Brendon snaps me out of my fantasy world. His big brown eyes watch me... worried... pained. "Did you hear me?" I shake my head. I can't speak right now. "Does this mean you're going to die?"

"Yeah..." I whisper. A tear runs down my cheek and Brendon catches it. "Yeah... I don't know how long I've got, but I just... I just want you to know that in the time I've spent with you... I almost forgot." Brendon quickly wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

"Why do the good die young Ryan?" He whispers.

"Hey, I'm not dead yet."

"C'mon. Lets go to bed." He says standing. I follow suit and we walk back to the bed hand and hand.

I'm his forbidden fruit.

(AN: there you have it. Ryan told him. I just couldn't seem to get this chapter right. I had no idea how it was going to happen. It felt awkward for Ryan just to come out and say, "I have AIDS so I made him use the full name for it just to throw Brendon off. Hahaha comment and vote! Much love! <3)