The Young In Our Veins (Ryden)

Chapter 4

An alarm wakes me. I look at the clock setting on Brendon's nightstand and yawn. I look over and Brendon was face down, bare ass in plain sight. I sigh and gently shake his shoulder. "Brendon... I think you need to go into work."

"Hmm?"

"Work Brendon. You know. The thing you do to get money."

"Oh yeah... Shit." I roll out of the bed and head to the bathroom. I need to pee so bad. Mid way through my morning piss, Brendon comes into the bathroom. My eyes widen and I quickly try to finish. "Calm down Ry. Just gotta brush my teeth." Brendon smiles and gets his tooth brush out.

I awkwardly shake off and flush the toilet. Brendon looks at me and smiles, with toothpaste all around my mouth. He moves over for me to wash my hands and when I'm done he spits into the sink. "You know Ry, you didn't teach me to put eyeliner on lastnight."

"I did not. What are you hinting at?" He wipes his mouth and leaves the bathroom. I follow him out and watch him pull an eye pencil out of my bag. I should be weirded out by all of this, but oddly, I'm not at all. Brendon smiles and wiggles the pencil between his fingers. I snatch the eyeliner from him and make him set on the bed. "Okay I'm going to need you to be very, very still Brendon."

"Pshhh... I can do that!" I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I'll sit still! I promise." I pop the cap off and lean down to his face. He looks up at me, his eyes shinning so brightly it takes my breath away. I work on getting air my lungs. God, his eyes are so beautiful and expressive. "Ryan?" He says in a sing song voice. "You're spacing out my friend." Friend my ass. I saw you naked.

"Yeah sorry... I just... I don't know... Close your eyes." He does so and I draw a black line on his eye lid. I gently smear it, to make it look more subtle and move onto the next eye.

"You know you can tell me, right Ryan? You can tell me anything. I'm gonna be your new Spencer!" He says giddily. He then giggles a little.

"What?"

"It tickles."

"Yeah, well it won't tickle when I'm stabbing you in the eye." He huffs and moments later he gently kicks my shin. "What was that for?"

"Are you gonna tell me what you were thinking of saying?" Fuck he's persistent.

"I was just thinking that you have really nice eyes." I say, feeling a blush rise on my cheeks. "Now um... open your eyes." His eyes stay closed. "Brendon, you can open your eyes now." No response. "Bren!"

"Huh?" He mumbles, his eyes fluttering open. He smiles at me, eyes still glowing so brightly.

"You didn't hear what I said?"

"Oh no, I heard you. I was just thinking of the way you hand feels on my cheek. Your hands are really soft. How do you get them that way?" I never really noticed how my hand was cupping his cheek, holding him still. I never really noticed how his warm, fresh breath fanned out on my face. I never noticed Brendon's hand moving up to my own, gently stroking the top of my hand with his fingers.

I lick my lips and Brendon's other hand moved to my hip, pulling me onto his lap. I straddle him and drop the eyeliner, bringing my other hand to his other cheek. "Ryan..." Brendon whispers. Our lips move closer and I can't. I can't do this. I get off of his lap and grab clothes, running to the bathroom. "Ryan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No Bren, I shouldn't have. You haven't done anything wrong. I was leading you on this whole time and trust me, you don't want me." I say while trying to get dressed.

"But I do, Ryan. I really really like you. You're sweet and adorable and just can't seem to stop smiling when I'm around you, Ry." Well no shit.

"Brendon, there are some things that you don't know about me, that you wouldn't be able to accept. Things that not even Spencer knows." I heard a quiet thump on the door and I know Brendon is banging his head on the door out of frustration. "I'm already in too deep with this. I shouldn't have even stayed here, let alone to share a bed with you."

"So you regret everything?" Brendon asks sadly. It's weird of one moment, Brendon could be the happiest person alive and the next he's the complete opposite. I open the door to the sad puppy dog look Brendon has on his face. He looks up at me and my heart aches a little at how sad he looked.

"I don't. I don't regret any of it." I say. "It shouldn't be happening, cause in the end I know I'll hurt you, but no. I don't regret a single moment of any of it. I loved being in your arms, I loved you singing to me, I loved the causalness of us sharing the bathroom. God Bren, you don't how happy you make me and that's important cause as of right now you're the only thing in my life that can truly make me happy."

"Really?" I nod. "Ryan... Why can't you tell me what's making you second guess yourself about all this?"

"Cause I know you'll never talk to me again.." I smile weakly. "You need to go to work."

"Okay... You stay here. We need to talk about what happened yesterday and I need to know what's bugging you." Brendon unexpectedly pulled me into a hug. He pulls away and looks at me frowning. "It's starting to bruise already." I shrug as if to say, 'that's the least of my problems', which is true. "I'll see you when I get home." I nod. He pulls me into another hug and quickly leaves the apartment, not wanting to be late.