Dating and Courtship. Are There Better on the Other?
By: Kristen Clark
"So..hey...can I have your phone number?" He asked me smoothly. I pretended not to notice his chuckling friends in the background.
There was no way in the world I was giving this guy my phone number. For one, I just met him. Two, I was only sixteen. Three, he wasn't the type of guy I wanted to stay in "touch" with anyways. If you catch my drift.
So, I did what any good Christian girl would do. I decided to play a little joke on him.
"Yeah...I'll give you my phone number" I replied. "But you'll have to ask my dad for it."
Okay – the chances of this guy asking my dad were slim to none. Right? What sixteen year old guy would do that?
"Okay. Sure!" He responded quickly.
I was shocked.
"Where's your dad?" He asked looking around the basketball gym.
"Ummmm..." I said hesitantly. "He's...ummm...oh, right over there. The tall guy with a black beard."
I watched with wide eyes as this brave young whippersnapper ran over to my dad.
I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew what the results were when the guy never came and talked to me again that night.
I know, I know. That wasn't a very nice joke to play. I wouldn't do it again. Most likely.
Although that situation didn't go anywhere, there would come a point in my life when a guy named Zack Clark would ask my dad a similar question. That time the answer would be yes. Next followed, what I call, the "relationship stage." Nine months later we got engaged. Eight months later we were married.
If you're a single girl and hope to get married someday too, you have to go through the "relationship" stage at some point in your life as well. You have to go from being single, to being in a relationship, to getting engaged, to walking down the aisle.
Choose your path.
Some people choose the modern dating path to get there. Some choose the old fashioned courtship path. And others choose, what I like to call, the "dateship" path – a combination of both dating and courtship.
Before you meet prince charming, you need to have a good understanding of which "relationship" path you will choose and why. No path is perfect, but you'll be a lot more successful if you have a well thought out, Christ-focused plan before you get there.
In this post, I want to break down the pros and cons of each "path" and share what I did in my relationship with Zack and why.
Modern Dating.
Modern dating is the most common path for relationships today. It has its origins with the sexual revolution of the 1960s. It's brand new yet it's the only path most people know of.
Not everyone defines modern dating the same way, but from what I've seen, the majority of American's view it like this: A casual romantic relationship between two people for the purpose of having fun and enjoying one another. The dating relationship may or may not be for the purpose of marriage.
In modern dating there is little to no accountability from family, friends, or mentors. The couple spends a lot of time alone, often in intimate settings. The motives for casual dating are typically self-serving and tend to include heavy doses of physical intimacy.
