20 Lessons on Dating & Love
I'm really excited. Because I get to chat with you about Christ-centered love.
I've been dating this really cool guy for almost three years now, and we're saying "I do" this summer. God has taught us a whole bunch of incredible things about His love—and this list of twenty lessons on dating and love just scratches the surface.
First, I have three disclaimers for you:
1 Corinthians 13 is God's Word on true love. Those verses will never fail you! I'm not trying to add to what God has already told us about love. My goal is to share truth and practical advice that reflects what 1 Cor. 13 tells us. Sound good?You may be single right now, and this list may leave you thinking, Uhh . . . I don't have a man to love in the first place! That may be true, but learning these things before you ever enter a relationship could be crazy awesome.I'm still enrolled in True Love 101. I don't know everything there is to know. We'll always keep learning more and more about Christ's love. So I'm not claiming to be a love expert. I'm just offering to you what I've learned so far.
Here we go!
1. Christ is the source of true, selfless love.
We're meant to fall completely in love with Him, and He fills our hearts to the brim—and no one, nothing else could ever possibly compare. But sometimes we try to make someone else our heart fill-er up-er. And that's when we start to face conflict with each other . . . because we're to fill only what Jesus can. So allow Him to be your starting point, your real source of true fulfillment. He'll do it. He'll make it incredible. Trust Him.
2. One sinner + another sinner = two sinners.
That's some pretty simple math that has big implications. We don't always expect to encounter so many conflicts or so much pain in a relationship. But we do, because two sinners will sin against each other. But here's some good news . . .
3. Grace is glue that binds.
When two sinners choose to submit humbly to Christ's way of true love, His grace heals wounds and binds the two of you together. It's a beautiful thing that we never deserve.
4. Accept apologies, and freely forgive.
When the goodness of grace comes into play, apologies and forgiveness should follow. We can't be stingy in our forgiveness—that's sin. Christ tells us to be forgivers that keep on forgiving.
Matthew 18:21–22 says, "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"
This is less an invitation to keep a tally of how many times you've forgiven someone ("You messed up, seventy-eight times! No more forgiveness.") and more the big idea that we are supposed to forgive over, and over, and over. Thankfully Jesus practices what He preaches and forgives us way more than seventy-seven times.
5. Real love sacrifices.
Love says, "I'll put aside my own desires for yours." That's tough stuff. But it's God's pattern for love, and it's part of the equation for an incredible romance.
6. Your guy may not match your "list."
Have you written ? The one that describes everything you want in a guy? I made one of those lists . . . and truth be told, my fiancé doesn't have all the dreamy qualities I imagined as a fifteen-year-old. I don't think anyone ever could. That list was extensive! No, you don't have to stop writing your list. But let me encourage you to keep your heart open to who God has for you—He doesn't need a list in order to write your love story!
