Underestimate Me ⇝ anakin skywalker x reader {book 1}

12.

"No..." Pulling away was a snap back to reality. I held a hand to my lips which burned from the intimacy. I had felt the force and seen witch craft but never have I ever felt so much feeling or "magic" or whatever you want to call it than in that kiss.

"What?" He questioned, realizing now it seems that I don't believe him. He didn't see the seriousness on my face. He leaned in for another kiss but I put my hand on his chest to stop him. His beautiful blue eyes were confused and hurt and embarrassed as he leaned his hands on the walls behind me.

"We can't do this, Anakin. We both swore our lives to the Jedi Order. You'll be a Jedi Knight soon, soon I'll restart my training. This could ruin our entire lives." I explained, not looking away from him.

"For you, it's worth it, don't you think?" He leaned again but I stopped him still.

"No, I cannot give into this. It wouldn't be wise." I duck under his arms and am released from the wall. I walk across the room and he stays still. "Plus it's only been a few days we've been back into each others lives. This all could be short lived, it's too risky right now." He seems hurt by this.

"I trust my feelings, and my feelings are drawing me to you. It doesn't matter if its only a short amount of time. I know you feel that too. You felt it the moment we met on that day at the temple." He reaches for my hand but I pull it away to wipe away a piece of hair from my face.

"The Jedi have taught us that our feelings can sometimes betray us-" i start but he cuts me off,

"We can leave the Jedi Order-" Anakin starts but then it's my turn to cut him off,

"No. Anakin, we cannot do that. We'll regret that for the rest of our lives. You're said to be the chosen one, the Jedi need you." I urge him.

"Like they don't need you? Jedi are disappearing more and more these days, it's not uncommon." He rolls his eyes.

"Even more of a reason to stay. The Jedi are in trouble, something is wrong and something big is coming. You know it too." I say. His eyes drop to his feet in defeat. "I couldn't live knowing we left for selfish reasons like this." I finished quietly, begging his answer would be more optimistic for some reason. Hating the mood it had become.

"We could keep it a secret.." He sighs. Turning to me, I shake my head.

"I couldn't live like that either. We would be lying to everyone around us. It's just not right. Anakin, if the circumstances were different I would in less than a heart beat." I could tell he was frustrated with me, I tried to keep explaining even though I knew I wasn't making this better. He started to the door. "But we also are losing our good friend. We're not thinking straight. We cannot let our emotions get in the way of what's important. They'll get the better of us, decisions made out of emotions are often wrong ones. This isn't wise, not now."

"I thought this was important." He said quietly then left the room. I called after him but it was too late. He needed space and it was so painful. I felt like I broke up with him even though we never actually were "together."

I felt a slam against the wall that separated our rooms. I touched the wall, trying to make him feel my presence. I only could hope he could, he is the strongest with the force so I'm sure he did. Whether or not he accepted it is different.

I fell asleep against that wall that night. I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes. I felt this cold absence in me as I felt that weird morning taste. I got up to shower and then do my hair and get dressed for the day.

I stared at the padawan braid that always stayed proudly in my hair. I remembered what Master Windu said to me, about how for now my Padawan training was on hold and I was no longer a Padawan for the time being. I felt disappointed in myself as I undid the small braid that I had grown out. Watching the wavy part of my hair fall.

I go down to the dining hall where the queen and officials of Naboo, Padmé's parents, and Anakin sit. There are other empty seats anticipating more guests.

"Ah, Padawan (Y/L/N), lovely to see you again. Please take a seat." The queen points to the seat next to Anakin.

"Oh (Y/N) isn't a Padawan, she's a youngling." Anakin stops her, I feel my cheeks grow red with both embarrassment and anger.

"Excuse me?" I turn to him. Showing him my hurt and frustration. He didn't bother to look at me.

"My apologies, uh, please take a seat." She says, pointing to the other side of the table, away from Anakin.

"I'm very glad you both are here. We can never have too much protection, and I'm sure Senator Amidala would've appreciated your presence." She smiles at us as a plate is served in front of me.

"It is our pleasure, milady." Anakin smiles back at her. It made me uncomfortable. He made me so angry. If I could I would choke him right now. My powers are surely strong enough to do more than just that from across this table but I hold it all back.

Even though I have a little fun and give him a little squeeze when he's talking. He blames it on not chewing well enough. I only smile to myself.

After breakfast I decided to go meditate. I wanted to rid myself of this sudden hatred for the one I desired only yesterday. I chose an open patio that had a beautiful Naboo river flowin by it and tall grasses that reached my head so I could get lost in the way it moved.

Sitting on the ground of the patio I closed my eyes to try and reach the connection I had with Luminara. I needed her guidance in these moments. I tried so hard to be wise for her. I was frustrated. I couldn't reach her since Anakin interrupted me last night. Another reason to be annoyed with his presence.

After hours of finding no luck I decided to change my plans to find Captain Typho to tell him I didn't want to be a guest anymore. i wanted to help with the security procedures. I needed things to do, action to take. I admit, I was restless.

On my way to look for the Captain I turned down a hallway that I saw Anakin at the end of speaking to Master Kenobi.

"How's (Y/N) doing?" He asks, Anakin paused for a moment.

"Fine, I think." He said,

"She's not with you?" Master Kenobi presses,

"Not at the moment- but she's been doing an excellent job. I think she had to talk to Captain Typho about the security status." He speaks strong. I thank the heavens for his lie there. This was a moment I was thankful for him. It was when I realized I was not doing my job. I heard him coming down the hall to where I hid. I walked a little bit further down then tried to walk casually up to where it was as if I wasn't snooping.

"I knew you were there." Anakin says without even looking at me and strongly pacing past me.

"Thank you, Skywalker." I say, trying to stay on his heels and keep things professional.

"Did you just call me Skywalker?" He turned around, "What now we can't be on first name basis anymore?"

"No- thats not what I-" I stuttered then saw a moving figure in the vents that surrounded the large room we were in. Anakin didn't seem to car for my checking out and continued his ranting, of which I didn't listen to any of it.

I stared at it for a moment to see if I was imagining things. When I saw the bullet fly I knew I wasn't.