Our love (Ziall, Larry Underage)

Depression

A/N I just want to warn anyone who self harms or has depression because this is manly what the chapter is about. NO Niall DOES NOT self harm, but this might be a trigger for people reading this. I know what It feels like, and I am righting this with parts that have actually happened in my life. If you do not feel comfortable with this the skip to the next chapter which I be posting shortly after this one.

~Niall's pov~

I don't feel like moving. I don't want this pain. I want to stop crying, I have to stop crying. Why cant I stop? I hate myself for this. It is all my fault. I hear them. All of them. Coming up to my door step, pounding on the door. Shouting at me to open up. Sometimes they all come, others just one or two.

One the first day Josh came. He said that everyone has missed me, that I should come out and talk. That Liam and Harry need me. After a couple more hours he leaves.

The second day Andy and Ashton come see me. Niall please they say, Niall we miss you they say. Their just lying they don't need me, I'm just a waste of space. I think they stay all night. I here their soft cries in the morning. Why would they cry? They only knew me for less then a day. I beg for them to go away in my head, when the sun rises, they do.

Day three Liam, Josh and Ashton come by. Ashton is silent but I hear him crying softly. Liam begs for me to come out. Says he just wants to know that I am okay. I can hear Liam through a fit. He starts screaming at me, that's when Ashton finally says that he will take Liam home. Josh stays though. Niall he says, please. Please. We need you. We love you. Liam and Harry need you. He yells firmly. After a hour or so, I hear a sigh and then he is gone. Their all gone.

Day four Andy is the only one to see me. He doesn't say anything, he just sits at the door and waits. What he is waiting for, I don't know. By midnight he leaves. That day I finally drink one small bottle of water that was left on the counter above me. That's all though don't want to have food be wasted on me.

Day five everyone but Harry comes. Ashton and Liam cry and beg for me to make a sound, to do anything. I don't I haven't move or eaten anything in these five days. I don't know if I can. Josh takes Ashton and Liam. Andy stays. Niall, please we love you. come out! tell us way at least. Andy says after hours of quiet.

Days six and seven are quite. No one comes to see me. Maybe they have given up like I have.

That next morning I hear why Harry hasn't been around. Liam tells me. He says that Harry has been gone for the last six days. They don't know why. I knew at that point to believe them. They said harry missed and loved me. They don't even know where Harry is. The worst part is that I don't want him back. I drink a little more of what I had on Wednesday.

Day nine Josh starts yelling at me. Saying that I am being selfish. That I was hurting them. To think about their feelings. Liam tells him to stop but says I need to know what I have done. He is right. It would be better for my to just end it all. To not be alive anymore.

Days ten through nineteen: No one has come by since that day Josh yelled. I'm happy, they have moved on hopefully.  Day fifteen I move for the first time. I cant walk, so I crawl to the cabinet where we keep our knives. I grab one and hold it to my wrist. I beg myself to do it. I call myself names and imagine how much better would be if I did it. But I cant. I throw it the other side of the room. Why am I such a wimp? I eat on small cracker, but spit it up after word.

Day twenty Liam comes back. Niall he says softly, can you say something? Niall Please he begs. I haven't heard from Harry in two weeks. Sometimes he is at school, but he doesn't talk, it's like he has become mute. I worried Niall. I know we all fought and had only known each other for a short time, but I love you guys so much. Niall please. Liam says whimppering out the last part.

Day twenty-one I hear a voice I haven't heard in weeks. Harry's voice. He says he is sorry and that I can hate him forever, but that he has found someone that he thinks will help. I hear the sweet, sweet voice I fell in love with weeks ago with. Zayn. Niall we are coming in Zayn says soothingly. With that the door opens. He comes up grabbing at me, but not moving me.. I think that after nights of no sleep the hallucinations have started will be a good time to sleep. Goodbye I croak out, closing my eyes for the last time hopefully.

A/N Okay guys. So that was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. I am crying right now actually. And for anyone who wants to know up until the end of day twenty was actually something that has happened to me. I'm better now though. please comment, I would love to hear what you think about this. How this chapter affected you. Thank you for reading. AND PLEASE, PLEASE COMMENT