W e a k n e s s [Peterick AU] - #Wattys2016

#18- H e l p

Patrick's POV

As soon as my eyes shot open a twinge of pain spread throughout my whole body. After wincing loudly, I swallowed the Tylenol I had found on the nightstand and drank the glass of water.

I examined the space around me. Pete. It was Pete's house. How had I ended up there? I couldn't remember anything. It was like trying to put all the puzzle pieces together but in vain. With that little strength left in my aching body, I got up and checked the house to find my friend.

"G- good morning", I stuttered as I saw him in the kitchen "What happened? Why is my head pounding so hard? Why am I..."

"If you sit here in silence, I'll explain everything", he cut me off calmly. When I satisfied his request, he started speaking: "Remember the sleepover with Bren last night?"

"Uh... more or less. Only a part"

"When the movie was over, you and Brendon started drinking like crazy and fell asleep. When I woke you up you felt really sick, so I decided to take you here for the rest of the night"

"Oh. But... Brendon? Is he okay?"

"I don't know, to be honest. He got used to drink a lot, so... yeah, he's probably sleeping right now or complaining about his headache. I'll call him later to inform him that we are here"

"O- okay. Oh and... erm... thanks for letting me stay last night... what did I say while I was drunk?"

He shrugged: "You just wanted to pee on Brendon's couch"

I widened my eyes in shock: "Holy smokes, did I really...?"

He raised an eyebrow at the "holy smokes" thing: "Nope. Luckily I managed to... distract you? And you didn't pee on his couch"

"How did I get drunk? I mean... I think I said I didn't wanna drink"

"Yeah, but apparently you started to find it amusing"

"Awesome", I said ironically as I rolled my eyes "Anyway, maybe I should go now. I don't wanna be a bother"

"No!", Pete exclaimed.

"What?"

"You can stay for... a little while"

"Really? But I thought you only wanted me to stay for the night..."

"I know, and I maybe changed my mind"

I thanked him and pulled him into a little embrace, but broke it realizing he felt uncomfortable.

"Oh, no. Sorry" I whispered "I... I know you don't really like it when..."

"It's not that I don't like it", he pronounced those words with much effort "Simply I don't wanna... react badly and hurt you again"

"You are not evil, Peter", I melted into his penetrating eyes.

"Yes, I am. I feel like a monster sometimes. And that's why I need your help right now"

"... Help?"

"Yes. Am I your friend? Would you like me to be happy?"

"Yes, of course"

A small knife shined in his hand as he pulled it out from one of his pockets: "Then please, do me this favor, make me happy: kill me"

I shook my head, refusing to believe what I had just heard: "No, I can't do that"

"You would really help me"

"No, I wouldn't. I'd just... take the life from you"

"My pain would finally be over"

"There are many ways to get rid of the pain without losing all the rest"

"All the rest?", he muttered "All the rest? Can't you understand? My life is just pain. There's no "all the rest"! Pain, pain and pain. So losing my life is like losing my pain, and pain only. I wouldn't miss the good part of my life, because it doesn't exist. From this world I don't get anything but violence, sadness, egoism. I was strong before, but now... now I feel like the weakest one here. This life is not worth living, and that's why I'm asking you to take it from me"

"You have me ", I whispered with watery eyes "You have me. I know I'm just a nerdy, annoying guy, I know I don't matter that much, maybe the pain in your life involves me. Who knows. But whether you like it or not, I'll help you through this. I won't kill you, because that's not the right thing to do. It's the shortest way to end pain, and the worst at the same time. You even have no idea what comes after death... I know how hard it can be, to hold your head up, accept everything and carry on, but I'm really asking, begging you to live, because things might turn out well all of sudden, because eventually you'll discover a way not to see everything dark and find a spark of light, something different from all the same shit. I'm asking you to live, because I know how it feels when you're on the verge of death, and someone saves you. When that happens, life suddenly looks like the most precious thing in the entire Universe, even if you've been hating it for the whole time. Yes, I've attempted suicide, but survived, and never tried risking my life again", I unbuttoned my shirt to make him see the huge scar on my chest "It doesn't feel good, dying. It doesn't feel good for anyone. It's the biggest mistake a human could do"

Pete's face was contorted by emotion: "... Will you really help me?"

"Yes, I will"

He did something I wouldn't ever expect from him: he took my hand in his and smiled. He was starting to trust me.

"Thank you", he mumbled biting his lip "I promise I won't hurt you again... and by the way, I can see a little spark of light right now"

I couldn't really tell what the spark of light was, but the important thing was he could see something bright in his dark world. I smiled and slowly grabbed his knife and threw it into a bin.

Then silence fell, but immediately got broken by many knocks on the window glass.

"Pete...? Who the hell are those?"