W e a k n e s s [Peterick AU] - #Wattys2016

#6- M e m o r i e s

Pete's POV

And the first day of mission was gone. I was quite satisfied of my job, but I still had to get a lot of information about Patrick; now I needed to find his address. I'd text him the next day to see him as soon as possible.

I sat in front of my table and started taking notes of what I'd discovered about Patrick during the day, and I eventually fell asleep.

***

"No! Please, dad", I cried turning to my father, who had already raised his first to me.

"Shut up! You deserve it"

"I just wanted to be his friend"

"I know you wanted to be more than a friend to him, because you like him"

I blushed in embarrassment: "I don't see how this can be a problem"

I suddenly felt my father's hand land on my face; I cried in pain touching my red, burning cheek.

"YOU CAN'T LIKE BOYS! Stupid son of a..."

Before he finished the sentence, he started kicking me in the stomach.

"You are a disgrace to the family... you don't even deserve a family. So useless, so stupid"

***

I jumped awake breathing heavily, sweat streaming down my forehead: another nightmare. How I hated to remember about my past...

After I blinked a few times, awful memories started floating in my mind; I felt dizziness invade me as I desperately shook my head: somehow I was trying to get rid of negative thoughts, but it was useless. Terrible images and voices threatened to suffocate me, but I couldn't let them take possession of my mind. I needed to get things off my chest.

After two minutes, my house was a mess: I had kicked objects, ripped up sheets, scratched my skin with my own fingernails, banged my head against the wall until I was bleeding; trembled, jumped, shouted.
I'd never wanted to admit it, but I was too weak inside; no one had to find out, because I'd look like a fool; but sometimes I wanted someone... like a partner, a confidant who could listen to me. People couldn't understand how much pain I was in, because I wanted to act like an evil, cold human. If I could define myself as a human.

I turned the pages of my notebook, passing a hand on the photos of all my victims.

Maybe the best things was change. Try to become a better person. But I knew I wouldn't: I was in love with my own sins.

*Author's Note*

AHHH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, I KNOW THIS WAS A CRAPPY CHAPTER, SORRY ABOUT THAT GUYS

Dreammaker_222