The Shadow Walker

74. On the Wall

I followed Legolas up the stairs to the catwalk of the outer wall. Gimli and Dwalin came up behind me, and I caught myself glancing over my shoulder. Dwalin's presence made me uneasy, and I was still upset that Galadriel had sent him here. But there was nothing that could be done about it now.

We lined up along the wall. I was barely tall enough to see over the top, but poor Gimli was a few inches too short.

"Amariel."

I swallowed at Haldir's voice, and barely kept from flinching when he placed his hand on my shoulder. "Yes?"

He looked down at me, his eyes showing no malice or anger. "I wonder if you would stand with me for awhile; I would speak with you." He glanced at Legolas, who was glaring daggers at him. "With your permission, of course."

Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but I put my hand on his arm. "It's okay, Legoas." To Haldir, I said, "Of course."

He nodded. "Thank you. Come; I am stationed down the wall a ways."

Legolas took me by the wrist, concern in his eyes. "Eda—"

"Legolas, please," I sighed. "I'll be fine."

He glared at Haldir as he released my hand. "I'll be listening," Legolas said.

I sighed again, but a part of me was glad. Just in case. I followed Haldir to a gap in the line of Elves stationed along the wall, and he moved into his position.

"Amariel," he said, "I should never have rejected your apology, or withheld my forgiveness." He met my gaze. "I do forgive you, and I ask your forgiveness for my childish behavior."

I shifted uncomfortably. I couldn't believe he was doing this in front of everyone. Not that the Galadhrim acknowledged that they were listening.

"Of course I forgive you," I said, feeling the relief of a resolved conflict.

There was a lull in the conversation, until Haldir finally said, "I was in love with you, you know. Or rather, I was in love with who I thought you to be."

I could only imagine what was going through Legolas's mind right now. "Haldir—"

"Please," he said, glancing at me. "I know there is nothing for us, but let me speak honestly."

I hesitated, then nodded. "Alright."

He turned back and gazed out into the darkness, at little flecks of red-gold light slowly moving this way. "I imagined a life with you. A quiet life, where we would find happiness together and have children."

Despite the fact that Haldir's words held no bitterness, the weight of what I'd done to him settled heavily on my heart.

Haldir laid a hand on my shoulder. "Do not be grieved," he said gently. "Shortly after your departure, Lady Galadriel presented an elleth to me. I have never cared for arranged marriages...but we're happy together. We've asked Eru for a child." Haldir smiled—something I could count on one hand how many times I'd seen him do. "I am happy, Amariel. I am content. And I forgive you, with my whole heart."

I was quiet for a moment. Haldir, married? I was surprised, but in a good way. "Thank you," I said. "I am glad for you."

"And you." Haldir smirked. "You will do well with Prince Legolas. He cares for you deeply."

I grinned and looked at the stone beneath my feet. "And I care for him."

"This makes my heart glad. But, Amariel, you must be who you are apart from him."