The Shadow Walker

67. "Relationship" Issues

The moment the door shut, Legolas jumped off the bed like it was on fire. Crossing his arms, he faced the opposite wall, his tight tunic showing the muscles in his shoulders flexing sporadically.

"And don't forget to actually talk," came Aragorn's way-too-amused voice from the other side of the door.

"Ugh!" I groaned, falling backward onto the bed. Throwing an arm over my eyes, I muttered, "Remind me why Aragorn is our marriage councilor?"

"Marriage—!?"

"Sweet Lothlòrien," I muttered, peeking out from beneath my arm, "you don't have to take everything so seriously!"

"Well what would you have me do?" he demanded, whirling to look at me. "Not believe a word you say?"

"Hmm." I closed my eyes. "That might be nice. Then I could say whatever I like."

"Do you not?" he groused.

"Believe it or not, there's quite a lot I don't say," I said, masking a smirk. Awkward as this was...it was also very fun. Note to self: Aragorn made a fabulous marriage councilor.

"Like what?" Legolas shot back.

"Like how absolutely lickable your muscles are. And what a pity it is that Elves make a habit of wearing clothes. And I can't believe your stupidity got us stuck in here while an actual meal is being served for the others! And why is the room so drafty? And how nice it would be if you would stop being an orchole and just snuggle with m—"

"Enough!"

He believed me now.

Legolas's blue eyes were wild with...panic? "Woman, I have never heard such thoroughly repulsive things uttered aloud!"

I shrugged. "Well, that's why I don't usually say them. And frankly, I wouldn't recommend asking me to turn my filter off. Just for future reference."

Legolas stared at me in disbelief for a long, deadly moment. Finally, he spat, "You're incorrigible."

"And you're an orchole." I met his glare, entirely unphazed. "Honestly, if you want to win the verbal vomit game, you're gonna have to try a little harder. I'm good at this."

Legolas huffed and turned to glare at the wall once more. Probably a smart decision on his part.

So...the next quarter of an hour passed in silence.

Finally, the door pushed open, and Aragorn walked in. He frowned at us, and moving to gather his things, he said, "Please tell me you did more than stare at opposite walls."

"But of course," Legolas muttered. "We blinked at opposite walls, as well."

"Aragorn," I whined, "please tell me you're more fun to get alone than this!"

Frowning, Aragorn draped his cloak over one arm and picked up his supply pack. "Perhaps you should ask Arwen." Glancing between us, he said, "Come on, you two, we're leaving."

I hopped up from the bed. "Where are we going?" My side protested the sudden movement, and my head swam. Staggering to the side, I bumped into Legolas. Legolas caught my shoulders and held me upright as I waited for the pain to go away. Then, when I could stand on my own, he brushed around me to leave the room.

Aragorn observed our little interaction with a small frown. Finally, he answered, "The fortress of Rohan, Helm's Deep."

A little stung and more than a little confused at Legolas gesture, I just nodded and moved to the door. Aragorn placed a hand on my back in a reassuring way, and I flashed him a half-hearted smile. At least Gandalf would be with us. The old wizard would provide some fresh company, and hey, he might even have a solution for Legolas's ridiculous behavior.