The Shadow Walker

55. Truly Lost

Days passed, I mostly spending my time with Legolas and the rest of the Fellowship. My broken shoulder and other wounds healed quickly with no apparent complications, and soon, Legolas and I were moved into tents with the others. As for my spat with Legolas, that was quickly resolved and forgotten. But Gimli still bowed to me every time he saw me, regardless of my pleas.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a month. Then Aragorn announced that we would be leaving Lothlòrien the following day.

It was late that night that I sat with my back against a tree near the tents, just staring up into the endless maze of glowing branches. All of my few possessions were packed and ready to go, and Lady Galadriel had sent a pack of fresh supplies for each of us, and a set of clothes fashioned after my old ones.

A part of me didn't want to leave Lothlòrien. It was restful here, with no troubles save what I created myself. But the other part of me-the vast majority-was eager to leave. Besides the fact that Haldir glared at me every time our paths crossed, I was getting antsy, seeing the same things every day and never actually doing anything.

"Eda?" Legolas called softly.

I held back a sigh. Every time I saw him, I had another battle with my heart. And every battle with my heart left me more tired and lonely than before.

Legolas seated himself beside me, and only then did I murmur, "Hey."

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.

I shook my head, not meeting his gaze.

Legolas was quiet for a moment, then said, "I have something for you."

My curiosity got the better of me, and I finally looked at him. "What is it?"

Legolas lifted two items from behind his leg, where he'd apparently concealed them. "I did some asking around, and finally found our old clothes and everything we carried through Moria. And I found these." He handed me my knife, and the compass.

I gratefully took both. I had assumed that we'd dropped them in Moria or something, and dutifully put the matter out of my mind. The thought that my only heirloom had been lost in Moria was too bitter for me to dwell on. As for the compass...I was afraid to look at it. Its truth was too...truthful.

Legolas's hand grazed mine affectionately, then he stood. "Our journey will be long tomorrow, and whatever rest we can get tonight will be sorely needed, I fear."

I nodded. "I'll go to bed soon."

Legolas walked away, and I listened to his footsteps as they returned him to his tent. But they paused. "Eda?" His voice was hesitant, yet almost urgent. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were filled with uncertainty.

"Yes?" I replied, frowning.

Legolas hesitated. Finally, he said, "Good night."

"Good night," I echoed, somewhat confused. Legolas disappeared into his tent, leaving me alone with my jumbled thoughts.

My gaze dropped to the Foragar in my hand. Just like the first time I'd held it, the pin wandered aimlessly. But this time, I was grateful. Because that meant I had learned to harness my traitorous heart.

But at what cost?

* * *

I awoke to a hand on my shoulder. "Eda? Wake up; it's time to go."

I blinked, straightening my neck. I winced when a couple of vertebrae popped. I really shouldn't have slept here.

"You said you were going to bed," Legolas chided, taking me by the wrist and pulling me up. "Come on, the others are already headed to the boats."