Illegal Love~ Newtmas

letters of love

Chapter 27
Newts pov
Two weeks later I walk the halls alone to lunch, no one takes a second glance in my direction. No one was making fun of me, but no one was acknowledging my existence.

I still hadn't told anyone I remembered, but I decided I'd go back to my life in the shadows, I was happier this way believe it or not. I quit the lacrosse team and when I started to blow off all the guys they got the message and just stopped asking me. Thomas and Lydia still haven't said a word to me, but I deserve it.

I step into the cafeteria and look for a empty table, I always sit alone. I scan the crowd and my eyes land on Thomas's table. I noticed he finally started to talk to his friends again. Even though Thomas thinks when I was pretending to forget that I never payed attention to him- I did. I watched him 24/7 to make sure he was okay, I just did it more secretly.

I also noticed that Lydia started to sit at Thomas's table. I was really happy for her, she was finally making friends, ones that actually deserved her.

When Thomas's gaze caught mine I looked away immediately and when I looked back up all them were looking at me. I wonder how much Thomas told them? I'm sure Minho knows everything's, he's Thomas's best friend, but the others I'm not sure. Cora looks angry, Alby sad, Minho disappointed, Pretty sure Lydias look could kill me, Maya looked hopeful like maybe I would come and sit with them, Isaac looked annoyed, and Thomas looked Broken.

I couldn't look at them any longer so I averted my gaze to find a table to sit at. I scanned the tables continuously trying to find a empty one and when I new there was only one option I sighed. I would have to walk by Thomas's table to get there and I had no clue what would happen when I sit down but it was better then standing there with eyes on me.

I make my way towards the table and I see again Maya looks hopeful that I'm gonna sit with them. She must not know. She's such a sweet girl, if only she knew what a monster I really was. When I walked by there table I saw Maya slump down and Isaac comfort her. Thomas just stared at Nothing and I heard whispering, probably from Lydia and Minho.

When I finally made it to the table I sighed again. I dropped my lunch unto the table and his head snaps up at my presents.

His mouth drops open.

"I know, shocking, I was probably the last person you were expecting. Can I sit?" I ask and he slowly nods his head.

We sit in awkward silence and I can't help looking back at Thomas every 5 seconds, I need to fix us.

"You broke the plate." I jump at the sound of his voice. It was rough and dry.

"I-I'm sorry. Lydia told me that you haven't t-t-talked in- since- well I jumped." I stutter. Gally just stares at me.

Lydia was right, he was a mummy. His eyes were bloodshot and the circles under his eyes were darker then the night sky. His hair looked like he hadn't showered in years and his skin was ghostly pale.

"Thought the doctors weren't gonna tell you it was a suicide attempt." His voice is so dry, must be from not talking for 5 months.

"Oh-well-um-I-ugh" I stutter.

"It's fine, I always knew you remembered." He interrupts me.

I sigh, "how."

"You still looked at Thomas like he was your world." He says. I sigh again and we sit in silence.