Finding Me, A Jian Story | COMPLETE

It Made The Sun Look Dark

Dead End got to 500 reads! That was my goal so my (four day -_-) "hiatus" is over. Check that Jian story out if you like this one.

Also, please read the author's note at the end. It's not long, promise.

Enjoy!

•••

Kian's Pov

Jc is pissing me off.

Other than the fact that he won't so much as go in the same room as me without sparking something inside of me, he also won't even begin to talk to me about.. Us.

I've tried about seven times this week. He always comes up with some dumbass excuse to leave or avoid me.

"Um... I gotta go.. Feed little Kiggers!" Was his last excuse. Asshole. Kiggers wasn't even out of food.

Now he's on some road trip or something. Says he's gonna be gone for a week. He could've just spared me the suspense and told me I'm a hopeless fag before he left. That way I wouldn't be filled with all of this useless hope for a whole week until he gets back.

I've literally done nothing for two days. I got out of bed to use the bathroom occasionally, and once to shower, but I've literally been stalking people on Twitter for two days. It gets lonely with nobody here.

*In this story JJ doesn't live with Kian and Jc.

•••

The week passed surprisingly quickly. Probably because I've stayed up until five am and slept in until three. It makes the days go by quicker.

Jc's back. I didn't even try to get myself up and greet him. He probably thinks I'm some freak that has a crush on him. Well, technically I am, but he has no right to treat me like it. After all, he kissed back.

"KIAN?! I'M BAACK!" I heard him yell. I don't even want to get up to greet him. He's such an ass. He can't just kiss me then avoid me. He's playing with my feelings, and let's just say I don't like it at all.

"GOOD FOR YOU." I replied, still salty. I have a right to be.

I heard his footsteps pound up the stairs and stop outside of my room. I sighed, ready for him to tell me that he'll never date me and that he wants to end our channel. The same channel that's making me stay up until God knows how long editing videos while Jc was away. At least I got to see him, if not in the flesh.

You're so fucking hopeless. I told myself.

Yeah, I fucking know. I fire back at myself. I'm an asshole, too. You realized that when you realized you like your straight best friend. Get fucking over yourself.

With that, the other side of me, the emotional and stupid side, gave up the fight. I still don't know if I'm happy about that.

Two knocks. "Kian?" The wavering voice of Justin Cloud Caylen. My heart breaking for hurting him, and anger boiling for feeling like that even though he's done worse.

"Can I come in?" I felt my heart trying to mend with forgiveness. I didn't want to, but I know I just forgave him without even trying. It's hard to be mad at someone who's voice alone makes you melt with happiness.

I nodded. Dumbass, he can't see you. "Y-yeah.." I croaked out.

He hesitantly opened the door. I must've looked nice then and there, because he ran up to me and plopped beside me on my bed. Oh yeah, and he kissed me with so much passion it made the sun look dark.

I instantly pushed him away. He's not pulling another "I'm-gonna-kiss-you-and-ditch-you" with me. I'm not going through another week of hopeless love and boiling anger again. Nope.

The look he gave me was full of hurt and rejection, but I clenched my jaw and looked away. "What the fucks wrong with you?" I snapped.

"Huh?"

"Who the fuck kisses their crush- wait I don't even know what I am to you, because you won't fucking talk about it! What am I, Jc? Why-" he cut me off with another kiss. My brain went fuzzy. It was complete bliss. I didn't even realize I was kissing back until he pulled away. I guess I deserved that. I rant too much.

"Look, I like you, Kian. A lot. I'm just confused about what I am, who I like, ya know." He scratched his head. Unbeknownst to him, I was melting at his words. It's not love, but he likes me. A lot. I've fallen so deep for him and I didn't even know.

"I'm still attracted to girls," he went on. Ouch. You could've left that part out of the love confession. Real gentlemen-like, Justin. But that's the thing. He's not a gentlemen, well at least most of the times, and that just factors as one of the things I love about him. I love him.

"Like, I'm still attracted to Lia," he continued. He must've seen my bitch-really? stare because he quickly went into a fit of rambling about how he doesn't like her, he's just attracted to her.

"The thing is," he tried to redeem himself, "is that I think I'm bi." He bit his lip and glanced at me. I'm almost in the exact same position as him. I've only ever really liked two guys before, which was Ricky and now Jc. Although, the Ricky thing was definitely a phase because after about a month of liking him I was back to my old straight self again. I do miss the Rickian days, though.

"I think I am too." I managed to spit out. I just realized that my crush likes me. My seemingly gay crush likes me.

I have the right to be shocked.

He looked at me expectantly. I continue. "I've only ever like one guy before: you." I saw him blush, which have me a random spark of confidence. "And the only guy I'll ever like is you," I leaned closer to him. "Because I've fallen way too deep for you to get back out." With that, I kissed him. He laughed into the kiss, making me pull away from him. I glared.

He kept laughing, but was also blushing.

"That was so," a few chuckles, "cheesy." He told me, his big brown eyes gleaming. They're so beautiful compared to my small beady ones.

I pushed him playfully and he fell off of the bed. "That took me forever to come up with!" I said. And it's true. Me, being the hopeless romantic that I am, had to come up with some stupid ass speech in case he did admit his love to me. I scratched it once he actually did say he likes me, but I spat out the ending when I saw him blush. Good thing I didn't say the whole thing. It's much cheesier than what he heard.

He laughed and ran downstairs. "Let's watch something, babe!" He yelled up to me. I blushed slightly.

Babe?

I could get used to this.

•••

I think this story might be coming to an end soon.

Either that or it'll be a little bit longer, depends on what you guys want.

I do have an idea to add on to this, but I also don't want to make the story seem too long and boring?

What do you guys think?

End it?

Or extend it?

I really enjoy writing this, so whatever you guys want is fine with me.

Please check out my other Jian story, Dead End, if you like this! I'd really appreciate it!

Also, thanks for being patient? (Not really because the "hiatus" wasn't even a week..) but still.

-ColorMeJian 🎨