A/N I'm so sorry, I almost forgot you guys!! I'm a creepy obsessed fan, and I've been listening to this song since it came out and guess what? I remembered I didn't do a holiday special so, yay I remembered!!!
I've never needed anybody. I'm frosting, sweet on my own, perfectly fine by myself. But, I can go along with things into perfection.
Unlike many other 'frostings', I only fit with one. I only fit with certain kinds of people. I don't go for soft types of people, too harsh for that, but I avoid those too harsh, as I don't like being drown out.
Shizuo is that perfect medium. A difficult, angry brute, but he has a soft side. One that I just love to exploit and discover in the privacy of our homes. He's my gingerbread man.
Humans aren't right for me, they're entertaining, but they always assume what I want. They assume that I need a 'prince charming', and that always makes me laugh, nobody ever knows what I need.
I always torture myself, going for those who don't notice me, so this time, I forced him to notice me, and somehow made it worse. I'm happy though. I love these games, wounding my own heart until it's left a bloody mess.
Somebody tried to get 'help' for it, but I know I'm just stuck.
And I love it.
Tortured with the one I'll never have, now tortured with the one I do.
I want to have him, but not have him. I want to hold him, I want to break him. I want him to hold me, I want him to break me.
I want to have him, to keep him, to destroy each other while still loving one another with all our hearts. I want to be filled with a joyful pain.
With him, I can be my whole self, weak, strong, scared, brave, and alone, all with him. He doesn't have to hold back with me. He's never had to be scared to bite, he doesn't have to be afraid to hurt me. I want to be hurt, as long as we're together.
We build one another up while eating each other into nothing. It's terrifying, it's exhilarating, it's tragic, it's joyous! It's my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I give him another harsh squeeze before leaving bed, staring happily down at my left hand, and the small silver band that decorates my ring finger. And he's mine. Forever.
My Gingerbread Man.
A/N I know it isn't very good but I tried! I love you guys and happy holidays! It isn't very Christmasy, but Gingerbread, right? I mean, it's unbiased I guess... It's more wintery than Christmasy, but yeah, I still hope you guys liked it... Happy Holidays!!!
