A/N So I just got a random idea in class. Not sure if it's good, but oh well.
Izaya,
It was so long ago, I know you don't remember. That's how I need it. If you remember, then I'll be forced to remember. We can't have that happen. I've relived it over and over again already. But, Shinra says that if I have another nightmare, I need to get it out there. I'll'talk' to you. So, though I know you'll probably never see this, Izaya, but we knew each other long before highschool.
Let me just say that I'm so sorry! You were right when you said I need to control my temper. Sometimes, I think you may have gained your memory back, and use that damn phrase just ro spite me, make me feel guilty. Make me remember.
I know you probably don't remember, so you're most likely confused. Let me explain, Love. Ha, haven't called you that in a while. The nickname disappeared with that beautiful, innocent smile.
It was a year or two before middle school, sixth or seventh grade. That year, we decided to try that 'dating' thing our friends were talking about. It was fun. Though we did go through some minor bullying issues at first, being in a gay relationship. But they all shut up because I'm, well, a monster.
That day. That one goddamn day... that's my biggest regret. It changed our lives, our future! All because of my damn temper! We could've still been together. You could've remembered me.
We were having some fight. I'm not sure what about, I think I was jelous of Shinra.
I'll never forget the second your innocent smile turned into a frown. I'll never forget the second your innocent crimson eyes filled with tears. And worst of all, I'll never forget that strange sound after I threw you off of me. Why did you cling to me? You knew I was upset!
When you woke up, you didn't remember me. . And I made sure it was kept that way. U til we met again in Highschool.
You're still clingy, I see, even now, you seem more comfortable holding onto someone. I get jelous of them sometimes. But I can't get any closer to you. The closest I can get to you is false hate.
If you hate me, I can't hurt you anymore. I love you too much to hurt you, even after so long.
I never saw that innocent smile again. Time had replaced it with a smirk. That bright innocent laugh replaced by an amused chuckle or a phycotic cackle.
You don't love me, but you're in my life. You aren't my lover, but you're safe. Safe from the monster, your monster.
Shizuo
I pulled the letter to my chest tears falling down my face as memories filled my head.
Shizu-chan holding my hand. Shizu-chan and I walking in the park. Clinging to Shizu-chan's arm. And yes, a fight.
I think it was about Shinra and I. Yeah, it was. I was glad thay he cared, but still didn't want him to worry.
I continued to cry.
How did I get to this? You may ask, well, I was looking through Shizu-chan's room to get some blackmail material, only to find this note on his bed. My name was on it, so I read it.
I eventually forgot where I was, engulfed in the delightfully familiar scent of Shizu-chan.
I don't know when, but I fell asleep.
When I awoke, Shizu-chan was staring at me, a worried expression.
"Sh-shizu-chan..." I cried, climging to him.
"I missed you, Love..."
That night was full of tears, kisses, and of course, memories and love.
