Title: Errand Runners
Author: Next_JK_Rowling
Holy Smokes.
That was literally an amazing prologue.
Ok reading on.
In your writing, you have this special...effect on people. You make them want to continue reading, and personally, I was able to play this story as if it was a movie in my head. Call me mad, but it was THAT good.
Honestly, I don't know why you asked for a critique. Your story is simply amazing. Each action was described in such detail and I can't think of anything that you've done particuarly wrong in your story. You have me look ing for mistakes to point out at least SOMETHING to help you with.
I do have one little thing. The bulky paragraphs. Perhaps you are using them for an effect, I don't know. But for me as a reader, the paragraphs seem too evenly distributed so it makes my mind organize each paragraph as one part of the story, you know what I mean? I think if you varied the spacing and stretched them out, not only the formatting would look more professional but also, you could prevent readers from thinking that each paragraph equals one event.
But otherwise, this was simply riveting. You earned a new fan!
YOU ARE READING
The Critique
Non-FictionI'm just like the rest of you. A normal person who just loves to write and read. But the thing is, writing can never be perfect and there are many writers out there who want their work to be at least 99.99% amazing. Here I critique stories; I may be...
