I'm trying o.k?

Chapter 8

Phil's pov:

Dan continued moping around the apartment, always wearing baggy jumpers and dragging his feet, he had dark circles under his eyes and no longer straightened his hair unless he was leaving the apartment - which was rare.

I felt a deep sympathy towards Dan and wanted to help him. Maybe if he knew I loved him he would understand he meant something. The problem was Dan didn't know I liked men and clearly didn't want me to love him anyway. I couldn't confront him on it but maybe if I played the long game he would eventually recognize it's o.k.

Maybe small things would help, bringing him coffee, watching movies and even hinting I liked men. This could work.

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Dan's pov:

It was 2 in the afternoon and I had already opened the vodka, my head was light as the alcohol hit my empty stomach with force. It didn't take much anymore, at least it was cheap.

I heard footsteps and instantly hid the vodka before remembering Phil already knew, either way it was mid afternoon and I had no excuse. It's good I wasn't too badly gone yet.

"Hey Dan wanna watch a movie." He hadn't knocked today, I slept a lot so maybe he thought if he knocked he would wake me.

"Er sure. Yeah." A dark room focused on a movie should be fine.

"Great come on." He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the lounge where only one side light was on and the remaining light was from the t.v on it's blue standby screen, all natural lighting was hidden with curtains. It was just as well he dragged me there as my legs were already slightly weak.

Once I was in the room he told me to find a film and set it up. There was a horror movie amongst the stack Phil had burrowed from our friend P.J. I noticed two mugs already on the coffee table, they were filled with hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows. I poked the marshmallow and watched as it bobbed in the cream.

Leaning back on the sofa I felt my head spin from the alcohol before felling something soft dumped on me. Phil had taken the duvet from his room and shoved it over me, I smiled as I took in the smell of him all over it. Internally I sighed at how lost in love I was.

He snugged under the duvet and as soon as the film started he handed me my drink and lent back with his. After a minute or two he moved against my arm rested his head on my shoulder, occasionally moving to take a sip from his hot chocolate.

I laughed at his cream mustache. His eyes lit up as he heard my laugh. Oh no had it really been that long?

The movie continued and I tried to keep my mind on track with the plot. It was actually easy being around Phil when I had a light buzz going.

In the film there was a murdering psychopathy and a possessed kid and all sorts. There was loads of whispering going on in the boys head and a ton of jump scares. The boyfriend of the sister walked on screen, blood spattered on his face as he had stood behind a guy whilst he was murdered. Despite all the horror I took a moment to appreciate him as he stood on the screen, breathing as he was listening out for the killer, an axe in hand. He had pale skin blond hair with incredible cheekbones. His girlfriend may be dumb but she knew how to pick hot boys.

"He's kind of hot." Phil muttered, I almost didn't hear him.

Did Phil just call a boy hot? No this couldn't be happening, maybe it was the vodka. Shit what if he liked boys, could he be gay. Wait how much vodka did I drink? This isn't making sense, clearly I'm imagining it. Fuck.

"I'm going to the loo." I practically ran out of the room, flinging the duvet onto Phil. The movie stopped and I guess Phil had paused it.

Once I was in the bathroom I sank to the floor and my head whirled from the rush to get here. After I was more relaxed I splashed some cold water in my face and took a deep breath and flushed the loo before pushing open the door and heading into the lounge to find Phil looking mildly worried at me.