I'm trying o.k?

Chapter 3

Dan's pov:

This morning I had added alcohol to my shop when I went out to by coffee. I felt like getting drunk, I just needed something to distract myself. Not necessarily from Phil, sure he's my most recent problem but not my only problem. Everything had been bad for ages, since I was a teenager. It just continuously got worse and I gave up trying to get better. I've been drunk before, obviously, but it doesn't really help me have fun like most people. I just mellow out and even when I think about all my problem I can just lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for as long as I want to.

Vodka was my favorite, I used to mix it with cranberry juice but now I drink it clean. It wasn't like faffing around at a party, holding your drink and taking stronger amounts every time. No I just wanted to get drunk. To forget.

Now it was 1am and I was sitting in my room waiting. Phil knocked on the door "Dan I'm going to sleep, I've locked the flat up."

"O.k, see you in the morning." I smiled as he left. Here we go.

I started with a shot. Gross. The first was always the worst, I laughed at the mild rhyme. Phil would have laughed too.

Shit, don't think about Phil. I took another shot.

The night ended at 6am when I passed out after half a bottle on an empty stomach. Fortunately I was careful enough to hide the vodka bottle and glasses in the gap between my bed and side cupboard.

At 10 o'clock Phil woke me up when he walked into my room, he explained he knocked first but I must have been too asleep to hear.  He brought in a cup of coffee for me, we normally had coffee in the morning together or the one that was up would bring it to the other.

"You o.k?" Phil looked concerned again.

"Er yeah, just woke up and all but I'm good." Phil seemed satisfied enough with my answer and sat on my bed to discuss what we were doing today. I quickly took a sip of coffee to hide the scent of alcohol on my breath.

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Phil's pov:

When I brought in Dan's coffee he seemed off again.

"You o.k?" I asked, hoping he'd tell me if something was.

"Er yeah, just woke up and all but I'm good." He gave me a look and I realized I was frowning. I quickly faked a smile and changed the conversation to our plans for the day. He took a sip of his coffee too soon and I laughed when it burnt his tongue.

He looked briefly offended before laughing back.

"So you get dressed then we'll go get lunch out or something? I fancy the fresh air."

"Yeah sounds great." he rubbed his eyes as I left. That was cute. Wait, no.

I walked out in confusion but brushed it of, I should find some shoes. There was a small coffee shop near our apartment that was family run and not full of teenagers in Ugg boots. It also served a variety of foods like pancakes and muffins as well as savory foods. Once I had located and laced my shoes I knocked on Dan's door. No answer.

I walked in and found him still lying in bed. He had clearly fallen back asleep but I had no idea how he could be this tired. He was sitting in bed when I walked last night but looked weirdly awake, I had no idea how long he had stayed up for.

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At 2pm Dan stumbled into the lounge, full dressed and hair straightened, he was carrying his shoes and slumped down on the sofa to put them on.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's fine Dan, it gave me extra tumblr time anyway." I faked a laugh, trying to cheer him up. It seemed to work as Dan flashed a smile and stood up to leave.

"After you, ma'lady." He gestured towards the door with an eyebrow raised.

"What was that about?" I asked as we walked down the stairs.

"You smell like raspberries."