Epidemic

Chapter 31

I stared hopelessly down at the piece of paper that was in my hands. The edges were shaking from the tremors running through my arms. What was I suppose to say to this? I couldn't even comprehend it myself.

"Maybe it isn't you, it could be someone with the same name." Carol hushed as she ran over to my side. Seeing how visibly shaken I was.

"Ain't nothin' Hadley, just some piece of shit paper." Merle added in, stepping up onto the porch.

Reaching over my shoulder he quickly grabbed the paper from my hands. Frankly I was happy that he did. My mind was racing a million miles a minute and I could barely concentrate on the surroundings let alone a piece of paper with tiny words, tiny words that said I was dead.

"Ain't even understand this shit." Merle chuckled as I heard him mumbling to himself. "Some big fancy words."

"Don't hurt ye self. Ye to stupid to read that Merle." Daryl let out a low laugh from behind me.

"Very funny baby brother." Merle growled.

"Even I can't really understand some of these words. They might be compounds, but I've never even heard of them." Hershel added in, and I felt Carols grip on my shoulder tighten.

As they continued to talk amongst themselves, my mind wandered. If that's what happened to me... If I died, how am I walking around? How am I not some mindless zombie, who started this whole apocalypse years ago? Most importantly, who the fuck am I? Because obviously the Hadley I was for most of my life, died in 2009.

Just the thought of all of these things had my legs buckling under the pressure. Both of my knees hit the splintered wood of the porch. My eyes dropping to the ground as I was about ready to lose control of everything.

"Had!" Daryl rushed over to me, putting his hands under my arms. Pulling me to my feet once again.

"You ok?" Hershel asked, concern riddled through out his voice as he started to get his crutches.

"Yeah, um." I stammered slightly. "I'm ok, I just want to go lay down for a bit." Avoiding the eyes of everyone hovering around me, I started towards the screen door.

But before I got there, I turned around and made my way over to Merle. The paper still in his hands as he watched my movements.

"Can I have this first?" I asked, as my hand reached out. "Maybe I can figure out what happened."

"Ye sure?" Merle reluctantly gave me the page. Knowing that I was not really in the right state of mind to be looking over my death certificate, so to speak.

"Who else is going to read it?" I shrugged and folded it up neatly, stuffing it into my back pocket.

Spinning on my heels I disappeared back into the cabin. Out of the staring eyes of the group. To them I was probably public enemy number one now. Ever since they brought me in, one bad thing after another happened. People died, people got hurt, we've had to leave behind what was once our safety. Now to top everything off, I could be some creepy science experiment.

Climbing back up the ladder to the attic, I made sure to keep away from the others. Letting my feet silently carry me over to the bed. Once my shins were against the mattress, I just let my body collapse. My frame landing on the ancient comforter, and my head hitting the lumpy pillow.

I laid there, burying my face in the pillow. Fighting back the tears that threatened to escape. If there was anything that pissed me off, it was letting myself cry. I hated it, and I hated it with a passion. But It didn't stop me from shedding a tear in this doomed world. Daryl seen me cry the most and it made me look weak. Like some girl who couldn't handle herself in the world, and needed a guy to protect her. Believe me, I don't need protecting.