Chapter 6

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Edward's POV:

I growled in anger and pain as I heard Alice suggesting to Isa to move in with us. I heard in a few heads that they are hopeful that this girl would heal me. Like that's even possible. I was angry with my family thinking something like that, I was angry with life that it took away my only reason to exist, but most of all I was angry with myself. That I didn't protect her better, that I left her alone, if I was there I could have safe her. But I wasn't there for her. It was all my fault.

As I heard the girl leave I was instantly downstairs. Facing my family. "You can't be serious about her moving in?" I hissed with full of rage. When I saw Esme flinche from my glare, I tried to compose myself. She was really worried about me, they all were. I didn't hunt or move out of my room -apart from trying to escape- after the funeral. I just set on my couch and stared in front of me in the dark room. Sometimes I screamed in agony and growled at them when they tried to get me to hunt.

"Son, look.." Carlisle started but he trailed off. He was thinking when was the last time that he heard me talk. I quickly realised that everyone was thinking the same. Apparently I didn't talk almost a month. "She is just out of the newborn state, she needs help and support and also we all need something what would take are minds off Be-" He almost slipped. After her funeral my family quickly learned not to say or think about her name. "Her. And who knows? Maybe you would be friends." Or even more.. I heard them adding it to the end in their heads. I growled not holding back.

I looked all of them in the eyes. "She will never be replaced! And if you think it is possible, then I don't know my family anymore." I said the last part in deadly calm. Then I turned aroud and walked out the house. I knew it was harsh what I said, but I was full of anger and pain. I needed to let it out sometimes on someone. That was a reason too why I didn't speak to them. However it was a small part.

Once I was outside I stared to run on top speed. I was surprised that Emmett and Jasper didn't fallow me or tried to catch me. In the last month or so, I always tried to run off to Volterra and get myself killed, but my family didn't let me. The annoying pixie alwas warned them when I made the decision. But now if I decided to run off I would probably succeed and get my wish. Get rid of the pain or maybe if we really have souls, just maybe, I could see her again. But something told me to not go, that things would be better. It was hard to believe it.

When I reached my destination I stopped. I was at the side of our meadow. I didn't come here once after she died. My family wouldn't let me out of their sites. And I didn't wanted to come back either. It brought back too much memory about her. Memories what would be too painful to bear.

Before her funeral I was screaming and destroying everything what got between my hands. But after the event I went numb. I didn't talk or hunt. I was against the idea of leaving Forks. When my family first suggested, it felt like I was already loosing my beloved and myself. Of course I wouldn't forget her, but I wanted to feel closer to her and the best place for that was Forks. It didn't matter how painful it was. Sometimes I heard her angelic voice in my head, I knew I was probably going mad but if it allowed me to think she was sitting next to me talking then I couldn't object.

As I stepped into the clearing, I remembered the countless hours we spent here in peace, not caring about the world. I remembered her laugh, her smile, her voice, her funny sarcastic comments. I remembered the hugs and kisses we shared and her always wanting more. And then I remembered that I would never have new memorise with her.

I fell to my knees, sobbing, holding my chest where my heart supposed to be. I didn't feel it anymore -the weight of my dead heart- now it felt like there was hole instead and it got bigger with every day without her. I was an open wound.

Memorise of her flooded my mind. And I was lying in the centre sobbing. It came harder to breath and I just wanted it to stop. But the only person who could help was probably up in heaven.

I didn't know how much time it took for me to calm down, but my guess would be, a lot. When I could concentrate again my mind somehow wandered to Isa. I didn't want her to move in. She remembered me of her. I saw it in the others head that she had long mahogany hair what reached her waist. She had big brown endless eyes and her upper lip was fuller. Her voice, her scent remembered me of her, her mind was also silence to me, they were very similar in ways, but somehow completely different. Even thinking about Isa's name was painful, because it was part of my love's name.

The guy who shot her and Charlie, was arrested by the police. My family didn't let me kill him no matter how hard I tried to get away from them and revenge my angel's death. Not much sooner they sent the bustard to jail in Texas. He didn't give any reason why he killed them, he just said that he did it. On the way to Texas he escaped, nobody knows how, he just disappeared. The police had no idea how to find him. I instantly realised that he would get away with it. He won't be punished for killing my beloved. He was probably out there enjoying his life. The thought of not being able to take revenge for my love was painful. I failed her in this too.

My body started to shake with sobs again and I wished I could cry. Not being able to let out the frustration the pain and the saddnes was destroying me from the inside. I screamed in agony, not caring who heard it. I felt my chest tighten and more sobs left my mouth.

I was lying on my back when I heard someone breathing, but no thoughts. My eyes snapped open and I turned my head where I heard it from.

A growl let my mouth as I relised that the one who was disturbing me was Isa. How dare she came here?! This was mine and Bella's place. She looked at me with longing, saddnes and hurt. I didn't understand any of the emotions. She only said one word what confused me even farther.

"Edward." She wispered.

How the fuck does she know my name?!

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Yes, I know, I am so evil:)

Anyway I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading it. Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

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