Forbidden perfection(student/teacher)

Chapter 12

It was 3am and I was still awake. Whether it be happiness or sadness running through my mind, falling asleep is almost impossible...That being said, so is waking up.

Its peaceful though, lying there with happiness consuming you, and thinking of Ryan does that for me. I'd known him for almost three months now and the majority of that month had just been spent with him. From lazy DVD days to cocktails in bars each moment I'd spent with him had made my feelings for him intensify rapidly. Everything about him had become so flawless to me, and the way he treated me was like he actually felt the same-I was so scared that'd it'd be a matter of time before things messed up.

Ironically, when I first met him my main fear was the fact I'd have to lie about my age and the fact I'm in college but avoiding that subject left the basic getting to know eachother aside meaning we got to know eachother on a deeper level. Our interests, our fears, our bad habits, our goals, painful experiences, good experiences, what makes eachother tick...more meaningful than an age right?

I'd never felt this way before-it was more...ALOT more than butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me or smiling just at his smile. It was craving him when he was there, not just admiring him, and craving him even more when he wasn't. Feeling on top of the world and more at home-at peace even- than I'd ever felt in my entire life even if it was just sat there reading a book in eachothers company. Wanting to undress him mentally just as much as physically. His comfort when I'm hurting being a lot deeper than just a hug and 'you'll be fine.' Not judging the fact he loves all the batman movies...okay maybe just a little actually. I didn't think I'd ever experience these feelings with someone, let alone only after two months and the fact these emotions scare me just as equally as they make me happy. 'Love' is such a drug.

Finding it a lot easier to drift off asleep in his company cos I feel so protected, or even currently; reading his goofy text- 'apparently my ex's new boyfriend loves the lingerie i brought her,seeing as it was technically a gift for me can I not refund it?'

I chuckled. I remember when he first told me about his ex Cassie. They ended four years ago and he hadn't been in a relationship since cos she broke him by cheating. He slept around for a bit after that then turned back to his love for music, started writing songs and performing off gigs now and again. He said he was thankful for that cos music will always be his biggest passion.

***

'PASS ME THE FUCKING REMOTE NOW KATY I'M NOT WATCHING THIS SOAP DRAMA SHIT' Ryan yelled while climbing on top of me to tickle me.

I screamed with laughter. 'Pleaaaaase,' I whined 'I haven't seen it in ages. Michelle just found out her boyfriend cheated on her I wanna see what happens!'

He rolled his eyes laughing. 'Why do you care how she acts? Okay lets play a game and guess. She gets really sad and angry and goes to contact him to confront him? I think that could be a possible reaction but damn I'm just not that sure cos TV shows like this are way too ambiguous and-'

I chucked a pillow at him. 'You don't understand.'

'Don't I?'

'No.'

'Really?'

'No.'

'Yes?'

'Yes what?' I giggled.

'Yes to the fact you won't ever be in this Michelles position cos your boyfriend would never cheat on you.' he replied, turning serious all of a sudden.

'What?' I said looking up at him, smiling. 'My-'

'Boyfriend, yes.' Ryan interrupted with a smirk. 'Asin, Katy, I really fucking like you, more than I've liked anyone-you're so beautiful but its way deeper than that; you're so smart, you're funny, interesting, when I'm with you nothing else matters and...actually hell with that even when I'm not with you nothing else matters cos you and your perfect little fucking self always plays on my mind. The idea of you with someone else is not fucking okay and as selfish as it sounds I want to be the only one to make you happy, be there for you when you need someone most, to admire you 24/7 cos you're fucking amazing and sorry I'm asking you when we're lying in my one bed flat watching your shit TV show and it isn't more romantic but... be my girlfriend?'