Exchanging Feelings (Phan)

17. Anything for you, Dan.

"Yeah... what if I tell you, that we're not just friends?" he asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Howell asked confused. I was waiting for their reactions but I didn't really saw any. "You mean he's like a brother?"

I was looking down, as I didn't want any eye contact with my host parents. Dan looked at me and sighed.

"No, I mean like... he's my boyfriend" He was so quiet it was almost a whisper, but loud enough for them to hear. He held my hand and entwined our fingers, placing our hands on his thigh as he spoke. His hands were shaking and sweating a bit, and he squeezed my hand, looking for support. I squeezed back just as tight, so he'd know I was there for him. There was a long, extremely long second of silence.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Mr. Howell asked. He didn't sound mad, nor angry, nor disgusted, nor anything. He sounded normal, like if Dan was really telling a joke.

"Of course not" he answered as quiet as before.

I dared to look up at my host mum. She looked surprised; she parted her lips and stared at us, like she didn't know what to do.

"Well... well..." She tried to speak. I looked at my host dad; his expression was serious, but not angry.

"I just... I didn't want to keep this secret anymore... I really wanted to tell you guys" Dan said, this time louder and more confident. "I hope this isn't a problem"

"For how long this is happening? Just under my nose?" My host mum asked. Again, she wasn't angry, just surprised.

"...some time" Dan sighed.

"They're just going through a phase, let the boys have fun" Mr. Howell said as he stood up and kissed the top of Mrs. Howell's head.

"I just need to know what's happening in my own house" she said. "So Dan, please elaborate this".

Mr. Howell sat down again and Dan squeezed my hand.

"Well... the thing is... Phil and I... got to know each other, first we were just friends but then we realized we had feelings for each other and it just kind of happened" he vomited the words.

Mrs. Howell nodded.

"Fair enough, I guess" she said.

"Are you angry?" Dan asked.

"Of course not, dear. I'm just... confused. And surprised. What do you expect me to say?"

"Well I don't know I just want you to tell me that it's okay"

"Son... we need to talk about this. Phil, dear, do you mind going upstairs for a minute?"

I stood up in the speed of light. "Not at all" I answered. I didn't want to leave Dan, but as Mrs. Howell was asking I would never say no. I went upstairs, straight to my bedroom. I lay on my bed. I was so nervous even though there was no reason to be, my host parents didn't seem mad at Dan. I put my earphones on and played my favourite song by Muse, trying to calm down. I got a cigarette because... well, I had to wait therefore I needed something to do.

I stared at the door, waiting for Dan. I knew he'd go talk to me, of course he would. The songs kept changing, but he didn't come. 10 minutes. 15 minutes. It felt like an eternity. I could easily go in the hallway and listen to their conversation, but I didn't dare to... if my host mum wanted me to go upstairs, she had a reason, and I didn't want any kind of awkward situation because I was listening.

When Dan /finally/ burst the door open and ran to my bed, I thanked God, because I couldn't wait anymore. He hugged me and cuddled into me in the bed, so fast I swear he took 2 seconds to do so. My bed was a single bed, so we didn't have much room (that's why we were always in his bedroom).