Exchanging Feelings (Phan)

7. I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

a/n: dudes i cant be bothered to think of good names for chapters it's not like you read the titles so yeah just gonna keep using songs and stuff

I probably looked normal, in those two seconds Dan kept our lips together - but I had butterflies in my stomach and my heart couldn't be happier.

He broke the kiss and looked straight into my eyes. For a moment, I held his gaze again. I was really nervous, simply because this was my first kiss (at least the one I'd remember as my first kiss), and I had no idea what I was doing.

"Sorry... I shouldn't have done this." He said quietly, then looked away.

"It's okay" I spoke, but my voice was shaking a bit. He moved on the bed, sitting up, so I sat up as well.

"No, really, sorry... I don't want to cross any line" he said.

I thought about it for a moment. Dan wasn't crossing any line. I wasn't sure how to express my feelings though. I didn't want to look like a loser, but I also didn't want to disappoint him if he wanted to kiss me.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked

"Of course"

"I've never been kissed" I said. Was it okay to say this? I wouldn't know! I had never been in that position before. He looked at me again, with a confused expression.

"Phil... you kissed two people on your birthday"

"I'm not counting that, because after all I don't remember it"

"Oh... that's bad I guess. But I wish I could forget my first kiss too, it's always weird"

"But what's the point if you don't remember it as an experience?"

"yeah... you're right..." he said. We were in silence for a moment as we stared at each other "I wish I could remember kissing you... I feel this urge to kiss you sometimes..." he added

My heart raced even more. I froze. I wanted to say something, I just couldn't find the words.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry Phil. I shouldn't say these things... Sorry, just forg-"

"Nooo Dan" I interrupted. I mentally killed myself, why didn't I say anything? *STUPID PHILIP*. "I just... I don't know what to say... I liked it when you kissed me though, I just..."

He shut me up with a kiss. He knelt on the bed and I did the same. My whole body was tense, but it was also great. I was happy Dan was kissing me. I wanted that. He put his hand on my neck in the loveliest way possible and pulled me closer, pecking my lips a few times. He broke it but kept his head extremely close to mine.

"Can I have your first kiss then?" he asked.

Dan was so cute and lovely. I had never felt that way.

"Yes" I said blushing.

He once again kissed me, this time it was more passionate. If I had butterflies in my stomach during our first kiss, at that point I already had fireworks. He pecked me a few times and grabbed my hand, which was sweaty and cold. I was thankful he did that. I parted my lips as I felt his tongue, and he tilted his head a bit. He slid his tongue into my mouth and I lost it - I probably went all the way to heaven. He was warm and tasted so, so good. He licked against my tongue once and my first attempt to copy his movements was a fail, so I mentally killed myself again. Thankfully Dan dominated the kiss and kept going. In a few seconds I started to kiss him back. I'm pretty sure my soul went out of my body because I wasn't myself, my instincts were doing everything, and I was just enjoying it. The kiss we shared was slow but not lazy and warm but not suffocating. It was perfect and I was glad Dan was the one kissing me. I'd love having Dan as a friend... but kissing him was better.