Welcome To My Hectic life...

Chapter Five.....Heated fight

Chapter Five.....Heated fight 

     The black Mitsubishi car stood abandoned in the driveway.

     Should I?

     Jerk was out to send snoopy to the vet. He did not use his car though, I was not sure why. My earlier intention to just stroll in the park and enjoy Snoopy's absence while it lasts now replaced with an overwhelming temptation to destroy Jerk's car as it stood beautifully before me.

     No, no, I shouldn’t. That's not nice.

     I continued to walk to make my way to my earlier intended destination but found my steps really heavy. I turned my head around again to get another glance at the car. 

     It stood so magnificently and dazzling, not moving an inch, as though calling onto me. 

     Sakinah, move along! Don't even think about it.

     I walk several steps again trying to force myself away from this urging temptation. My steps were heavy with each painted memory of hardships Jerk had made me gone through in the past. I just could not resist but to turn around and take another long glance again at the car.

     My heart was beating hard all over my body. I was trying my ultimate best to ignore Satan, the devil's whisperings.

     Satan: "Come on. A little pay back would not hurt, would it? Think about all the things he made you go through. They are far more superior to this. Besides, it's not like he would know that it's you, would he? It's not like you would get into any trouble. Just do it! I'm with you all the way..."

     As creepy as it sounds, it was so inviting. It was a Saturday morning; the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, the clouds were blue. A beautiful morning to say the least. It was very peaceful; there was no one at sight. No one to bare witness IF I were to vandalize this car. The perfect setting, but would I though? 

     No, no, this is not right.

     I try to stay strong. I could never put myself so low. I do not want to stain my own dignity with such low act. It will take more than that to make a fool of me.

     However with just three small steps, I found myself running my way back towards Jerk's car. My breathing was becoming deep and hard. My heart beating faster and faster in anticipation. I stood just next to the car. I then let my hand brush through the car's roof top. It felt so inviting! Flashbacks of my memory with this car came flooding. I remember being glued to the car's rooftop while Jerk drove to school at a very fast speed. He was obviously trying to kill me back then. Thinking about it now, I realize how there was actually more than one occasion where Jerk tried to kill me.

     Satan:"This might be your only chance for pay back. You might not be so lucky the next time. Are you going to pass this golden chance away? Meanwhile Jerk the future would probably stay the same person and attempt to make your life miserable yet again. He won't feel sorry. He would take every chance available with a smile to ruin you without the slightest pity towards you."

     But it is sinful!

     Satan:" Pfft. You can make Tobah(repentance) later on. You are still young; the door of repentance is still there open for you. You have a long way ahead of you. I'm sure Allah would forgive you."

     I could not hold it much longer. I gave up to my temptations. I did what I shouldn't. But I was going to repent the sooner I was done with this.