bad influence 》h.g.

Twenty-Six || Regret

Logan claimed me as his own for the remainder of the night. There was no kissing, just flirtation and it was nice that way. I didn't go for any other guys and he stayed away from the many girls who were eyeing him up. I noticed both he and Hayes attracted a lot of female attention, and I don't think I could blame the girls. They both looked good. Logan beat his skater buddy, of course- in my opinion, at least- but Hayes' appearance was still impressive. And yet, surprisingly, he didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to even the most gorgeous girls gawking at him. He'd found his way back to us and stayed close, conversing with that Shawn kid. I spoke to him a little and he was actually really sweet; he was so polite yet funny and chilled too. I liked him.

I crashed at Heidi's that night, after helping Riley clean up the minefield that was his home when the party ended. He repeatedly refused my helping hand, but I ignored his protests and bagged up the trash sprinkled around the house, along with Heidi herself, Hayes, Kyle and Logan. No one else cared to offer assistance, obviously. Why would they? It's a teenage party, no one wants to play janitors.

"You and Logan, huh?" Heidi smirked as I dried my face after washing off all the makeup. I was completely sober by then and things were starting to sink in properly.

"I don't know." I sighed. In all honesty, I really didn't. The weight I felt lift from my shoulders earlier that night was lowering back down as I realised that Jack and I were over for good. Did I really want Logan? He was so sweet and so good looking and everything but I literally broke up with my long term boyfriend only a matter of hours before and then I was throwing myself at another guy. I wasn't ready to move on yet. God damn alcohol. Shots fuel bad decisions. Maybe breaking up with Jack was my bad decision; perhaps it was moving onto Logan so quickly. My heart sunk a little at the thought of him wanting me as much as he showed that night, and it not being because of the alcohol. What if I had to let him down so soon and tell him it wouldn't work if he really did like me?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Heidi asked worriedly as I felt my face heat up and tears itch my eyes. I just shook my head and burst into tears. I couldn't put my thoughts and feelings into words so I just sobbed. "Aves, you're scaring me, what's wrong? Is it Jack? What did he say?" She pulled my head to her chest and stroked my hair.
"What if I made the wrong choice? What if it was a test to see how strong our relationship was? I don't want anyone else. Not now, not yet. I'm such a bad person, Heidi. I'm leading Logan on and I feel so bad for it. He's the kind of guy I would want in the future, but no matter how much I drink, I know I'm not gonna be ready to move on for a long time. He deserves someone else who won't make him wait. Maybe I could work things out with Jack. Yeah, I'll just call him an-"

"Ava, put your phone down now. You are not calling Jack. You know, as well as I do that he's a cheating scumbag and I can promise you with everything I have that dumping him was the best decision you've ever made. Sure, you're not ready to move on; you broke up a matter of hours ago, for Christ's sake! But Logan will understand if you tell him that. It was just a party and you were both drunk. You kissed just like pretty much everyone else there did- it's really not a big deal. Just chill, okay? You don't even have to think about it tonight. Relax." She began sternly, her voice slowly becoming more soothing. I nodded and sniffed, wiping my eyes and nose with the towel I'd previously dried my face with.

She lifted my hair and wrapped it up in a bun, securing it with one of the hair ties on her wrist. "There. Now, stop crying, okay?" She smiled. I returned her expression and followed her out of the bathroom to her bed, all the while trying to suppress my post-crying hiccups. She climbed into bed and lifted the covers beside her so I could crawl under.

Heidi took my mind off of things by changing the subject. We talked about cute boutique pages on Instagram and all the clothes we wanted from them. We talked about bitches from our school who we couldn't stand. We talked about joining the gym together or finding a sport to play. I'd always wanted to try soccer, but I never had the guts to join a team since I knew I'd be bad at it at first. Heidi liked the thought of hockey because she loved the aggressive connotations of it, obviously. 

Saturday, May 28th 2017

It was around 3:30a.m. when Heidi decided we should probably get some sleep. But I wasn't tired, I laid awake for about an hour, staring at the ceiling and absentmindedly picking at the crack on my phone screen while I wondered what was going to happen from then. It wasn't night anymore- the time when Heidi said I didn't have to worry about everything- it was almost four hours into the next day and that's when I began to panic. What was I going to do? I knew I had to tell Logan I didn't want anything to happen between us just yet, but was I really ready to let Jack go?